Here's the recap email I just sent for tonight's session:
Gentlemen,
Here's the recap of tonight's events.
A dwarf, Rollo the Third, a human fighter, Mongo, and an elf, Netal, travelled to the village of Louisburgh, more commonly known as Stinkborough, due to the horrid stench of rotting meat that surrounded the town. They briefly discussed asking the locals what was causing the stink, but quickly forgot when they met their long-time friend and cleric, Gutboy Barrellhouse, and his elven henchman Slezgar.
Massive beams of light were now visible at night, shining from four spots on Mount Rendon - three appearing to be on the side facing the village, and one on the far side. None of the beams of light appeared to be near the entrance to the dungeon that Gutboy knew about. Several patrols of the wizard's guard, the Unyielding Fist, had been spotted heading in the direction of the mountain.
Heading to the tavern, the Pig's Bride, they approached a few scruffy-looking travelers (an elf, and two dwarves) to see if they were interested in a henching job.
Mongo: "Elf want treasure? Mongo get treasure! Elf get treasure!"
Fenzo the Elf: "Mongo, your eloquent words have convinced me. I will gladly join you on this adventure."
Rollo the Third likewise hired Bollo the Dwarf.
Finally, Netal approached the last dwarf. The dwarf looked around at Netal's companions and shouted "No! Never! Do you know who that guy is? That's Rollo! He's cursed, I tell you, cursed! Everyone in Rollo's family dies! You're all cursed! Everyone, listen to me! Anyone who joins these guys is going to die! Die!" He then ran out of the tavern in fear.
The party spent the rest of the afternoon equipping their henchmen and purchasing war dogs, and headed off to Mt. Rendon. As they tromped through the woods, they were surprised by a half-dozen hairy men, wearing thigh-high boots, red diapers, and red bandoliers filled with ammo. They wielded pistols, and shouted "Exterminate the Brutals!" as they charged the party, shooting wildly.
Bollo the Dwarf took a bullet to the head and collapsed, but the rest of the shots went wild. As the heroes recovered their wits, they and their dogs made short work of the half-dozen Exterminators. They stripped Bollo's body and continued on to the dungeon.
Once in the dungeon, the party headed towards an unexplored corridor in the northeast section of the glowing-white-walled portion. As they rounded the corner, they came face-to-face with a horrible ten-foot-wide agglomeration of dozens of metal robots, bone, and the occasional glint of gold. This monstrosity clawed its way towards the party, and shredded Rollo with one of its many arms, as the others clutched at Rollo's dog.
Netal, in desperation, tried casting his sleep spell on the monster. The thing's many heads spoke in unison, "Entering hibernation mode. Hibernating..." and collapsed to the ground. The survivors of the attack waded into its mass and slashed hydraulic cables and wiring, putting it out of its electronic misery. They then searched through its wreckage, extracting a small fortune in gold wire and jewelry that had been used in makeshift repairs. Beyond the metal beast were three plastic jugs, but nobody wanted to risk investigating them.
With two members dead, everyone headed back to town to round up another adventurer and upgrade their armor. The trip was not uneventful, however - the party stumbled across four giant beetles crawling through the underbrush. They sicced the hounds on them, but the beetles easily cut through two of the hounds with their mandibles. Fortunately the beetles moved slowly, and the party ran for their lives rather than face the insects.
Regrouping at town, the party invited a cousin of the many Rollo's, Justin the Dwarf, to join them. Then, back to the Pig's Bride to pick up more henchmen. A few more had drifted into town, attracted by the possibility of ancient artifacts to be uncovered on brightly-lit Mount Rendon.
Mongo: "Elf! You want join Mongo? Elf get treasure!"
Rogor the Elf: "Fenzo, you were right, his eloquence is incredible! I'll follow this one to the gates of Hell themselves!"
Sadly, the human and halfling couldn't be cajoled into joining the expedition. With the addition of Justin and Rogor, and a few more war dogs, the party once again headed towards the dungeon.
Wandering the brightly-lit halls of the upper levels, they returned to the room where they had found the multi-robot abomination. They examined the plastic jugs again, and once again decided to leave them be.
Heading towards Sgt. Hammer's post, they came across a group of hostile bone-and-metal robots, but a sleep spell put all but one into a deep slumber. It was quickly dispatched, and the sleepers were likewise killed. Once they reached Sgt. Hammer's post, Mongo opened the door to see that Hammer's back was turned. He motioned to Rogor, who cast sleep upon Hammer, who stated "Entering hibernation mode. Hibernating..." as he fell to the ground. Hammer was quickly slain as he lay on the ground, and the three footlockers looted. They contained some jewelry, quite a few silver and gold coins, and an antique bronze helmet.
All of this loot was uneventfully taken back to town and sold, and several of the party members upgraded their armor to high-quality plate mail.
Zardoz for the win!
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