Session recap, 1/5/2011

Here's the recap email I just sent for last night's session:

Gentlemen,

Here's how things went down last night.  Next session is in 3 weeks, Wed Jan 26th.

The party gathered together at the Pig's Bride, along with Bob the Scientist, ready to head off to the dungeon and grab some robots.  The inn was empty except for a few farmers having beer for breakfast.  The cast:

Netal the Elf, and his dogs Moe and Mimi
Mongo the Fighter, and his henchmen Fenzo the Elf, Rogar the Elf, and Roger the Fighter
Gutboy Barellhouse and his dogs Rufus and Rubby, and his henchmen Slezgar the Elf and Serlo the Elf
Justin the Dwarf and his dog Bailey
Bob the Scientist

4 players, 5 henchmen, 5 dogs, and 1 NPC.

The party headed off into the wilderness, and made their way to the dungeon entrance without incident.  Inside, they made their way west through the door marked "Barracks".  Bob was quite impressed with the glowing white ceiling and strange white walls, and declared the place "Very Scientific!"

Entering the ancient bathroom, the party went west again, and found the same group of fully functional automatons that they had seen before.  These automatons didn't notice the door opening, and a pair of sleep spells sent all eight of them into hibernation mode.

Bob removed a large device covered with buttons and blinking lights from his backpack, and connected it to one of the automatons.  After a few minutes, the automaton arose, loudly declaring "Science!  I serve Science!"  Bob had successfully "reconfigured the automaton's soul."

As he reconfigured a second automaton, a group of 5 rusty, bone-and-metal automatons burst into the room, shouting "Kill all humans!"  A third sleep spell was cast, and this second group entered hibernation mode as well.  Justin quickly dispatched them, chopping through wiring and hydraulic hoses.

Bob went through several more reconfigurations, and as he roused the sixth, more unexpected company arrived - this time two massive battle automatons reminiscent of Sgt. Hammer, although with bits of bone and gristle reinforcing their rusting hulks.  One had a pair of the pods on its arm that Hammer had described as "plasma guns", and the other wielded a crudely-made sword.  These new arrivals attacked a pair of reconfigured automatons, shooting plasma bolts and swinging the sharpened metal bar that served as a sword.  The last sleep spell was cast, and the pair went down.  Justin again quickly dispatched them, and Justin and Gutboy each took a forearm with its plasma gun.

Bob finished reconfiguring the last two, and the party, plus 8 pro-Science automatons, marched out of the dungeon and into the wilderness.  The next morning, as they broke camp in the woods, they were surprised by a group of 7 goblins.  These humanoids were short, only four feet tall, and had bulbous gray heads with massive black eyes, slit noses, and mouths full of sharp little teeth.  Their armor was very crude, made of metal plates loosely tied together, and they wielded short spears.  Gutboy noted their resemblance to the elves.

The goblins were not acting hostile, simply pointing at the massive group of men, elves, dogs, and robots (plus one dwarf).  However, the party was overcome with bloodthirstiness, and Netal began casting a sleep spell.

Before he could finish, the goblins closed.  Their spears were easily turned aside, except by poor Fenzo the Elf, who was brutally impaled by a little gray monster.  Fenzo's death was avenged, as Netal completed his casting and the seven goblins fell asleep.  The party slaughtered them where they lay, and continued back towards Louisburgh / Stinkborough.

Spending another night at the Pig's Bride, the party awoke refreshed, and determined to make it to Denethix.  As they prepared to leave, a farmer approached Mongo, who was carrying Fenzo's lifeless body over his shoulders.

"Hey... you umm... you need that elf?"
"Mongo not understand?"
"I'll give you 10 gold for the body"
"Mongo need twenty"
"Eleven"
"Twelve"
"Done!"
"Wait, Mongo no like this"
"Fine, fifteen"
Another farmer came up and interrupted: "I'll give you 16 gold!"
"Mongo want to know, what you want body for?"
Justin the dwarf suggested "Is it for fertilizer?"
Farmer 1: "Yeah.. yeah.. it's for fertilizer.  That's all.  What do you say?"
"Mongo is troubled.  No."

Ignoring the farmer's pleas and dirty looks, he carried Fenzo out of the inn, and the party proceeded to Denethix.

Upon arriving at the city, they were accosted by a guard as they entered the slums on the outskirts.  Bob the Scientist approached the guard, and he and his automatons were waved through.  The guard stopped Mongo though.

"What are you doing with that body?"
"Mongo bury him"
"What? Where? You can't bury him in the city!"
"Mongo take him to temple"
Gutboy: "Yes, we're going to perform the funeral rites at the Temple of Thor"
"Thor?  Who's Thor?  That a god?"

The guard, confused as to just what the party intended, became sick of questioning the party and waved them through.  "They don't pay me enough for this.  Freaks."

Finally reaching the Street of Temples, Bob suggested that Mongo meet him tomorrow to receive his reward, for the Scientists didn't want a ripening Elf corpse in their temple.  Mongo wasn't going to have any of that.

Mongo, to Rogar and Roger:  "You take body, I get flamethrower"
Gutboy: "Yes, we'll perform the funeral rites.  Rogar, what god do the elves worship?"
Rogar looked completely confused.  "We don't have gods.  That's a human thing."
Gutboy: "What? No gods?"
Mongo, to Rogar and Roger: "Take body somewhere!"
Rogar and Roger stepped aside for a moment, conferred, and Rogar gave Roger a slap.
Roger, glaring at Rogar: "OK, we'll take the body out of the city for burial."

The two henchmen left with Fenzo's corpse, and the party followed Bob and the automatons into the Temple of Science.  They passed through a vestibule with a pair of Scientists attendants, and into the sanctuary.  The sanctuary was a massive square space, with a dozen rows of pews against each wall.  In the center of the room was a black step pyramid, 20 feet tall, with glowing red numbers at the top, slowly counting down.

Gutboy:  "What are those numbers for?"
Bob: "That is the only sacrifice that Science requires of us.  The numbers count down the time until we must enter the numbers."
"Where do you enter the numbers?"
"Oh, there are some buttons on top of the pyramid."
"What are the numbers?"
"That is sacred!  Only initiates are allowed to know that!"

Bob told the party to wait while he got Gregory, the head Scientist of the temple.  He and the automatons left through a side door, and he returned shortly, followed by a 12' tall figure.  The figure appeared to be a man on stilts, although it was impossible to say for sure, as his white lab coat stretched to the floor.  He wore a pair of lab goggles, and had the name GREGORY tattooed across his forehead.

Gregory:  "I thank you for this Very Scientific act you have performed for us!  Science is pleased!"
Gutboy:  "Oh yes, very scientific!"
"Ahh, you are ready to give up worship of the gods, priest, and follow Science?"
"Oh, no.  No."
Turning to Mongo:  "And now, you shall receive your Scientific reward!"

Gregory retrieved a weapon looking much like a rifle, with a small cylindrical tank suspended underneath its barrel, and handed it to Mongo.

Bob:  "This is the flamethrower!  Unscrew that cap there, and you can pour in three flasks of lantern oil.  Then just make sure the safety's off, pull the trigger, and it shoots."
Gregory:  "And to thank you for the extra automatons we have received, I have sweetened the pot.  Take these!"

Gregory handed Mongo three flasks of viscous liquid.

Bob:  "Jelly fire!  It burns much longer than lantern oil."
Gutboy:  "Now, we also know about a generator in that dungeon, that we can take you to"
Justin:  "For a fee"
Gregory:  "It sounds Scientific.  Bob can do the..."
Gutboy:  "And we want to sell you these plasma guns!"
Gregory:  "...negotiations"
Gutboy:  "And we need some help..."
Gregory:  "Help with what?  Is this priest's work?  Service to the gods?"
Gutboy:  "Yes, a hammer was stolen from the temple..."
Gregory:  "We do not serve the gods.  The gods serve Science.  It would be unseemly to assist you!"

Nonplussed, Gutboy and Justin then produced the arms with their weapon pods.

Gregory:  "Oh.  They're arms.  How would you shoot them?  50 gp each."
Gutboy:  "100 gp"
Gregory:  "Science does not negotiate!"
Gutboy:  "75!"
Gregory, growing annoyed, shouted "Enough!  This is not scientific!  Bob shall handle this!" and turned to leave.

Gutboy, to Bob:  "75?"
Bob:  "50.  Gregory has spoken."
Justin:  "Do you know where else we can try selling these?"
Bob:  "The Bazaar Incomparable.  You can buy or sell anything there."

The party promised to return to Bob once they had retrieved the silver hammer.  They then headed to the Bazaar Incomparable, where they sought out a weapons vendor.  The Bazaar was a large square, surrounded by shops, and filled with the tents of merchants, selling all manner of goods.  They quickly found a gunsmith's tent, and tried to sell the arms.  Once again, they were offered 50 gp per arm.  With some haggling, they were able to get a 10% discount on a gun, in addition to the 50 gp.  The smith tried to interest them in a small pocket-sized pistol for 50gp, "perfect for sneaking around with!  Then blam, right in the head!"  Netal was interested, but decided to pass.  Justin, however, saw a rifle he liked, listed at 500 gp, and he convinced Gutboy to purchase it for him, and he picked up 5 clips of 8 bullets each as well.

The party first returned to the Street of Temples to wait for Rogar and Roger's return, and then headed to the the Inn of the Repaired Wheel on the Street of Worthy Servitude, where the party bedded down in a common room for the night.  In the morning, they got advice on where to inquire about sewer maps, and headed to the Palais Immaculate.

The Palais was on the west side of a large square in the center of the city.  From the middle of the square arose the mighty Tower of the Wizard, a massive white sphere, 200' in diameter, sitting atop a 1000' tall steel tower of girders.  Heading towards the Palais, the guards (armed with pistol, rifle, and sword) quickly unslung their rifles, and demanded to know the party's business.

Gutboy: "We want to get maps to the sewers."
"What?  You're not going inside with all these weapons.  Get back down to the square, nice and easy now."
"How about just us two go in?" (referring to Gutboy and Netal)
"Fine, just you two.  The rest of you lot, clear out!"

Gutboy and Netal eventually made their way to the Department of Sanitation's offices, and waited in line while various city residents complained bitterly about their backed-up and overflowing toilets.  Finally, their turn arrived.

"We'd like some maps of the sewer."
"What?  Maps?  We don't have any."
"No maps?  How do you find your way down there?"
"What are you talking about?  All the storm drains dump into the river.  You just head towards the river, you can't ge tlost.  If you see anything that's not covered with damp shit, you follow that til you find the clog.  It's easy."
"Well, there's a thief who stole a hammer, and he's down in the sewer."
"What, recently?"
"No... we need a map of the sewer."
"We don't have any.  Do you need us to get out there and clean something out for you?"
"No, we've got it handled."
"What do you mean, you've got it handled?"
"We need a map, for the sewer.  And we need to know where there are people down there, by the temple."
"What temple?"
"The temple of Thor"
"Thor?  Who's that?  Is that the sewage god?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Hey Louis!  You here that?  There's a sewage god!  Who knew?  We're going to have to go down there and make a sacrifice!"
"Tell them Father Gore sent you.  Now, do you know where there are people down there?"
"What? No.  You mean the beggars?  If we knew there were beggars somewhere, they wouldn't be there anymore, we'd toss 'em out."
"How about the Society of the Luminous Spark?"
"Gah, if we knew about them, we'd call in the guard.  Those guys are dangerous!"
"We just need a map."
"I'll tell you what, I'll come down after work and guide you down there, for only 20 gp"
"OK, take 10 now and 10 later.  And don't try to go into the Temple of Thor... there's a big service you can't interrupt... meet us outside."
"Sure.  Anything for the Sewage God!"
"Are there any bounties on the Society?"
"Oh probably.  Ask across the square, at the Palais Indomitable."
"By the way, what's your name?"
"I'm Frenchy!"

Gutboy and Netal rejoined the party outside, and they headed across the square to the Palais Indomitable.  There they were stopped by another guard, alarmed by the heavily armed group approaching.

"What do you want?"
"Is there a bounty on the Society?"
"Well, sure, we give out a reward for information leading to the capture of members of the Society."
"Well, how about for dead ones?"
"What?  No!  Just for capturing them!"
"What if we kill them?"
"If we just handed out money for dead bodies, guys like you would be killing people randomly in the streets.  We need confessions."
"How much?"
"100 gp"
"Per member?"
"No, just 100 gp"

The haggling went out in this manner for a while, but Gutboy had no luck in trying to increase the bounty.  The party decided to head to the alley next to Thor's temple and wait for Frenchy the Sewage Guy.

At the appointed, Frenchy arrived, and climbed down into the tunnel.  He then shouted up "What are you guys doing?!?"  as the party began lowering dogs down on ropes.

Most of the dogs were deeply unhappy at being tied up and lowered, but their muzzles restrained them from biting out the throats of the party members.  Netal's dog Mimi, however, was untied before being secured, and ran off into the gloom in the storm drain.

The main storm drain tunnels, 40' below the surface of the city, were 20' wide, with 5' wide walkways on either side, and occasional stone bridges connecting the two sides.  Between the walkways, the drains were filled with water, and Frenchy estimated the water to be 10' deep.

As the party gathered themselves together and prepared to venture further into the tunnels, five scaly little monkey-like lizards, two feet tall, with webbed hands and large paddle-like tails, crawled over the edge of the walkway from the water.

"What are those?!?"
Frenchy:  "Grunkies!  They live on rats in the sewers!  They were pets that got flushed down the toilets when they got too big..."

The grunkies stared at the party but made no hostile actions.  The same could not be said for Mongo, who was delighted to have a test subject for his flamethrower.  A narrow cone of flame shot out 10', toasting one of the grunkies.  The rest of the lizard-monkies were quickly slaughtered by the massive party.

Walking single file along the ledges, the party eventually saw some grubby figures on the other side of the storm drain, lounging in an archway.

Gutboy:  "What are you doing here?"
Filthy beggar: "Who, me?  I was just stopping by, on my way to my luxurious mansion.  You must have seen it up above, it's the one made of solid gold."

Justin was unimpressed with this exchange, and aimed his rifle at the beggars.  The pair quickly withdrew into the darkness.

Retracing their steps, the party made their way across one of the stone bridges and back up the tunnel, this time on the same side as the beggars' archway.  At the archway, they proceeded past it and into a 10' wide corridor, and found that it ended with two openings, one to the north, one to the south, and a closed door to the west.

And here we ended things for the night.  See you all in a few weeks!