Session recap, 11/8/2011

CAST
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Netal the Elf (2), and his slave Roger the Fighter
Mongo the Fighter (2), and his henchmen Leroy Brown the Cleric and Lorgar the Elf
Gutboy the Cleric (3), his henchman Serlo the Elf, and his dog Rufus

We left the party in the viewing chamber for the Bee Bearded Lady - who was reduced to a skeleton wearing an aluminum hexagonal mesh beard, on the opposite side of a thick wall of glass.

The party headed out and traveled further into the freak show, find a chamber with four doors - one of which appeared to lead into the other half of the Bee Bearded Lady's chamber.  The door was locked, though, so the party investigated the other doors.  A door to the northeast read "Feed the Geek", while a door to the southeast read "Observe the Geek."  The party decided unanimously that feeding the geek would be a bad idea, and opted to observe.  They sent Roger the slave through the door first - he found a room split in two by a wall of bars.  On the opposite side of the bars, a horrible painted man with the tail and claws of a scorpion gnashed his teeth, trying to reach his stinger between the bars.  Roger stayed well away, and was safe from the monster's attack.

The rest of the party entered, and proceeded through another door out into a hallway.  They opened a door at the north end of the hall, and entered an oddly-shaped room with a stack of rusty iron cages along the south wall.  Each cage held a subterranean locust, 3' long.  Mongo surmised they were food for the Geek.

They had Roger open a door to the southeast - briefly, a room with a half dozen monitors was revealed, the monitors showing views of various rooms in the dungeon, some of which the party had just walked through.  Six Painted Men were observing the monitors.  One of them ran at the door, shouting "EMPLOYEES ONLY!" and slammed it shut in Roger's face.

There was a brief argument about whether to kill the Painted Men - Gutboy was afraid that the other Painted Men would kill them in retribution, while Netal and Mongo were irate about being observed by the clowns and wanted them dead.  Gutboy's argument won out, and the party moved further into the freak show.

The next room they entered held the skull of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  Inside the skull was a 5' long tongue, sculpted from solid gold.  To the south of it was a large tapestry, depicting dinosaurs wallowing in a swamp - rather than a sky above the swamp, a stalactite-covered cavern ceiling was woven instead.  There was another tapestry to the west, but apparently they were looking at the back side of it, as it was a featureless muddled gray.

Another argument ensued, about whether the party could successfully smuggle the tongue past the clowns.  They feared the clowns exacting retribution for its theft, and decided to leave it alone for the time being, and scout around for a back way out of the dungeon.  So they sent Roger to investigate behind the curtain - he saw another door to the west, and walls covered with shelves, on which rested eleven withered figures - the upper halves of chimps sewn onto the lower halves of fish.  The party then had Roger check behind the dinosaur tapestry, and found a door heading south.

They decided that heading west was a better bet, and went back to the room with the eleven Feejee Mermaids.  As they reached the center of the room, the mermaids came to life and flopped down onto the ground, advancing on the party with bared fangs.  The party got in a few hits, but went down one by one under the onslaught of the mermaids.  A few were killed, crushed into dried skin and sawdust stuffing, but eventually only Netal and Mongo were left standing.

Netal and Mongo ran out of the room - Mongo moving slowly, letting the slow-moving mermaids stay within sight of him, and Netal running as fast as he could, trying to find a back entrance into the mermaid room so he could rescue his unconscious companions.  Eventually he did, rushing through a hexagonally-shaped room with a stone giant laid out upon a tall table, and bandaged Gutboy's wounds as best he could.  Sadly, he was too late for the rest of the party - they were dead.

Mongo eventually caught up, slamming doors behind as he ran, and apparently losing the pursuing mermaids.  They recovered a few weapons from their slain henchmen, and retreated to the room with the stone giant as the tapestry began to show movement - the mermaids must certainly have been returning from their failed pursuit.  Mongo spiked the door shut, and the two returned to the giant chamber with the carnival midway, hoping to sneak out.

The party walked around the big top, taking the most direct route to the entrance possible, walking past several Painted Men who pointed and laughed at them - but were stopped at the dais by the carnival barker. 

Carnival Barker: Leaving so soon?  After all this trouble we've been to, it would be a shame to miss the show
Netal:  I think we need to be going, our friend's in trouble.
Carnival Barker:  Nothing like the trouble there's going to be if you don't attend the show.  I suggest you enjoy some of the attractions on the midway.  Looks like you've been enjoying them quite a bit already.
Netal:  Do you know a doctor?
Carnival Barker:  Oh, there's Dr. Giggles... but that's going to have to wait until after the show.

Sensing the undercurrent of menace, the pair retrated back around the midway.  They checked out a few of the tents as they went - a shell game didn't interest them, but a shoot-the-skull-with-the-crossbow game attracted Netal's attention.  He paid 10 gp, and fired three shots from the crossbow the Painted Man behind the counter handed him.  All three shots hit, and the Painted Man handed Netal a bloodstained kewpie doll.

Painted Man:  Three shots!  Big winner!
Netal:  Does it have any special powers?
Painted Man:  Yes, it's cute!  Very cute!

The duo gave the "Ring the Bell" game a pass, avoiding the snarling beefcake Painted Man and his big rubber mallet, and passed a door with a sign reading "Emergency Exit", nestled between the tent and the entrance to the freak show.  The two casually slipped through the door, finding themselves in a room with yet another tapestry, this one showing smiling children enjoying a circus.  They ignored the tapestry and followed a corridor west, eventually reaching a bronze portcullis guarded by two Painted Men.  The guards were delighted to see visitors.

Painted Man:  Strangers!  Welcome!  You see show?
Netal:  Yes, we're just going to step out for a bit.
Painted Man:  You come back and see show!

The painted men happily wheeled up the winch and wished the two well, and they headed deeper into the dungeon, dragging the unconscious Gutboy behind them.  They followed twisting corridors and chose random directions at intersection, and eventually ended up at a sign reading "Dr. Giggles - Welcome to Our New Office."  Following the arrow on the sign, they came to another door marked "Receptionist."  They entered within, and found a doctor's waiting room.  There were chairs arranged around the room, with a coffee table holding an assortment of magazines.  A troglodyte in a white nurse's uniform sat behind a desk.

Nurse:  Do you have an appointment? hisss
Mongo:  No, we're walk-ins
Nurse:  Any insurance?  hisss
Mongo:  Uhhh... no.... blue shield?
Nurse:  No blue shield.  hiss... We take Miami Mutual.  hiss.
Mongo:  No, do you take cash?
Nurse:  Always take cash.  hiss.... Better anyways, avoid co-pays. hiss.  Wait here for doctor.

The nurse then hummed tunelessly for a few minutes, and then got up and opened the door behind it, announcing "Patients, Dr. Giggle!"  A painted man in a white doctor's coat entered the room, a surgical mask dangling around his throat.  The doctor spoke in an incredibly well-educated voice.

Dr. Giggles (rushing over to examine Gutboy):  Goodness!  That man needs immediate medical attention!  It's a good thing you brought him here!
Netal:  How much is this going to cost?
Dr. Giggles:  Money? How can you think of money when a man is dying?  How mercenary!  Nurse, help me get him into the O.R.!

The troglodyte grabbed Gutboy's feet while Dr. Giggles lifted Gutboy by his armpits, and they quickly hauled him through a door into the O.R.  The nurse stepped back through and told the two to "wait here, he in good hands now, hisss...."  Realizing that they had just let strange monsters take their bosom comrade, Mongo and Gutboy insisted on seeing the operation.  The nurse agreed, and admitted them to the O.R., advising them to stand in a corner out of the way.  Dr. Giggles stood over Gutboy's unconscious body, scalpel in hand, with two Painted Men in nurse's uniforms assisting him.

And here we halted - you'll have to wait til next session to find out the results of the operation.