Session recap, 4/26/2012

CAST
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Razoe the Fantra Paladin (2) and his dog Brownie
Mongo the Fighter (4) and his henchman Prinny the Dwarf (1)
George P. Burdell the Cleric (2) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (1) and Seegar the Elf (1)
Gutboy Barrellhouse the Cleric (3), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his dogs Rufus II and Alpo

The party sat around in Mongo's apartment, recounting the good times and the bad, when they heard a commotion outside. A parade was going by - crowds of people were gleefully singing the praises of an adventurer, being carted around in a sedan chair. Unsurprisingly, they saw it was their rival and former henchman Slezgar, waving benevolently to the adoring masses. There was much grumbling and shaking of fists.

George headed to the Street of Temples, and began listening to his fellow priests' chatter to see if he could pick up some interesting rumors. The first involved Slezgar - "Did you see that parade? Any idea who that was? Yeah I don't know either, I heard he paid the crowd to follow him around" - and the second involved Louisburgh, the village that Mongo, Gutboy, and the deceased Netal had to flee after robbing a farmer of his precious shotgun - "It's terrible what happened in Louisburgh.  A giant robot rampaged through the village, blowing the whole place up!"

Mongo headed to the market, and purchased some jellied napalm from the weapon vendor for his flamethrower. He then wandered from tavern to tavern on the Street of the Alien, seeking a new henchman.  He ended up hiring Prinny the Dwarf, a grizzled lanthanide prospector and sole survivor of an expedition to the Lanthanide Wastes. "I hid under the sand while the Insect-Men ate all my friends. Every single one. No, don't tell me your name, I don't wanna know - yer just gonna die too."

Razoe, predictably, purchased a fine dungeon terrier, because you can never have too many dogs when you're exploring a dungeon.

The erstwhile crew of miscreants then headed out of Denethix towards Chelmsfordshire, seeking further riches in the depths. They quickly noticed they were being followed - by none other than their former neighbor Jack.  He had disappeared weeks ago, leaving nothing but signs of a struggle, some large bloodstains, and a human brain in the middle of the floor of his apartment.  The party stopped, and Jack stopped, some 300 yards back. They waved, but he did not respond.  Finally, the group walked up to Jack, surrounding him.  He had a scar running around his head, as if the top of his skull had been cut off and reattached.

Mongo: "Hi"
Jack: "Where's Netal?"
Mongo: "He's not here"
Jack: "Where's Netal?"
Mongo: "What do you want with him?"
Jack: "I... owe him money"
Razoe: "How much? We could give it to him"
Jack "Where's Netal?"
Mongo: "He's in Chelmsfordshire"

The party conferred, and decided they should restrain Jack and search him - and after a brief struggle, they pinned him and found that he was carrying a pistol.  A brief debate ensued, and they decided against executing him on the spot. Instead, they released him, and told Jack they'd take him to Netal.  His only response was another "Where's Netal?"

They made it to Chelmsfordshire, where they tried to convince Jack to enter a bar without them - he would have none of it, and refused to leave Mongo's side.  Mongo sent Razoe into the bar, and when Razoe came out he announced "Oh Netal's in the dungeon, we should go there instead."  This was met with another "Where's Netal?" from the conversationally troubled Jack.

The trip to the dungeon was uneventful - and they beelined towards the second level, passing the freshly-slain bodies of several human adventurers on the first level.  They had a plan - take Jack to Dr. Giggles and get his medical opinion of the skull-surgery.

On the way there, they passed the 9' tall naked clown Fat Grundle, with his poison snake wrapped around his neck, clutching his head in agony.  He was strangely non-aggressive.

Fat Grundle: "You idiots again? Get out of my way, my head is killing me"
George: "What's wrong? Maybe I can help"
Fat Grundle: "Hangover"
George: "Well, try these herbs, they should cure it" (handing him a fistful of oregano)
Fat Grundle: "This isn't doing anything. Get out of my way!"

Fat Grundle then pushed past them, heading towards the subterranean circus.

Sensing opportunity, the party rushed towards the door to Fat Grundle's lair. The giant clown had wedged a piece of stone under the door, jamming it shut, but Mongo was able to pry it out.  Inside the lair, they found a pile of rags and matted furs, and a wash-tub filled with stinking sludge.  Poking around in the tub, they find the marble worm statue and aquamarine gem that had been lost on Mongo and Netal's last expedition, and an addition 652 gold.

Moving on, they headed through the room lined with man-sized clear pods. A group of painted men were standing around the pod that contained one of their brethren, frozen in the act of trying to escape from the pod - they were pointing and laughing. Without hesitation, the party unleashed the hounds and laid waste to the five clowns.  The battle was brief and one-sided.

They continued on, and made their way to the office of Dr. Giggles. Nurse Ratchett called the doctor in, who escorted Jack into the OR. His two orderlies, Frenzy and Killer, restrained Jack, while the good doctor tried to administer anesthesia - but it didn't do anything.  Shrugging helplessly, Dr. Giggles cut Jack's skull open, while Jack continued to repeat his mantra - "Where's Netal?"

Inside the skull was a plant, potted in soil. It had thick succulent serrated leaves, dripping with some kind of fluid. The leaves writhed around on their own.  Frenzy reached in to remove the plant, and quickly yanked his hand back - "This thing tried to cut me!"

Gutboy suggested to Dr. Giggles that perhaps he could use anesthetic on the plant - "An excellent idea! Let me try that..." As Giggles leaned over to place a mask over the plant, one of the fronds lashed out and scratched him.  The doctor's last words: "Oh, a minor cut, nothing to worry about, I..."  He then turned blue and keeled over.

Killer prodded Dr. Giggles with his foot.  "Oh man.  He's dead."  The two orderlies quickly scooped up everything that looked valuable and ran out of the room, as the party knelt to examine the unconscious doctor.

Gutboy grabbed a fistful of hypodermic needles, full of unknown medicines, and jammed them all into Dr. Giggles' chest.  The doctor's body arched up, and his chest exploded open, blasting bloody fragments of heart-meat all over the room.  Nurse Ratchett ran in and stared wide-eyed at the scene.  "He's dead!  Oh no!  Dr. Giggles is dead!"  In the madness of her grief, she began pocketing various vials of medicine, and ran from the room.

Finally, the party began to search the room - but the orderlies and Nurse Ratchett cleaned out the good stuff.  Gutboy pocketed 20 vials of medicine, and George poured oil over the plant and set it aflame.  As it blackened and withered, Jack finally stopped asking about Netal.

They headed north, into Dr. Giggles' medical trophy room.  Glass tanks were filled with his surgical marvels - various chimerae created by grafting heads onto arms and so forth.  The group ignored these, but did fill a flask with formaldehyde from a stainless steel tank of preservative.

They pressed on, and found a room familiar to some of them - it had a lattice of silver rods in the center of the room, supporting a glass jar. Five of the silver rods curled over and terminated inside the jar. The room stank of ozone, and the walls and doors were covered with scorch marks, so the party decided it was best to ignore the lattice.  They moved on to the next room, another familiar location - the great hall with its murals of the various Underlords.  Mongo pressed upon the secret panel that caused the mural-of-skulls' eye sockets to open, and green and blue lights appeared from behind the sockets.

Showing more curiosity than the last time they had found this secret panel, George walked up to the sockets and peered in. Behind the wall (a 1' thickness of stone), two glowing crystal skulls, one blue, one green, sat upon a slowly spinning turntable. There were two other spots on the turntable, each with a cluster of three metal pins, but no skulls.  There were no doors visible in this room.

With no idea how to get into the disco-skull-room, the party reviewed their map, and decided they would cross the underground fungus-jungle cavern, and attack a group of blade zombies they had run across months ago.  George collected samples of fungus along the way, and they waved off a group of subterranean giant locusts.

The eight zombies that had run them off on an earlier expedition were still there.  They moved to attack as the party entered their room, but George and Gutboy held them at bay with the power of their faith.  Mongo easily picked the zombies off one by one with his bow.

And here the session ended.  Next game is on Thursday May 10th, 7:00 pm sharp.

Gains: Large pistol, worm statue worth 400 gp, 10 gp aquamarine, 652 gold, 20 vials of medicine, flask of formaldehyde, fungus samples
Kills: 5 painted men, Jack's brain plant, 8 blade zombies
Losses: Dr. Giggles