session recap, 5/10/2012

CAST
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Razoe the Fantra Paladin (2) and his dog Brownie
Mongo the Fighter (4) and his henchman Prinny the Dwarf (1)
George P. Burdell the Cleric (2) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (1) and Seegar the Elf (1)
Drunk Eddie the Magic-User (2) and his henchwoman, Pepa the Battle-Dancer (1)

Now that the blade zombies were not-moving-dead as opposed to homicidal-dead, Razoe and Gutboy and their respective henchmen and/or menageries wandered off into the fungus forest for a potty break.  In the meantime, Mongo and George searched for secret doors - no luck.  As they did so, a pair of strangers walked in, introducing themselves as Drunk Eddie the wizard and Pepa the surly battle-dancer.  They had gotten separated from their party out in the fungus forest, and were welcomed by Mongo and George as bosom companions.

The trio and their entourage proceeded to the next room, finding the backside of a curtain made of rotting human flesh, and gigantic pile of rotting body parts, 10' high and 20' wide.  Mongo prodded the pile with his retractable aluminum pole, and satisfied himself that it wasn't going to attack.

They next turned their attention to the corpse-curtain - it did want to attack, but from the back side, with no arms or legs, it was fairly feeble. George used his sling to destroy the curtain, and eventually it was reduced to fleshy tatters.

Razoe and his dog made their way back to the room, rejoining the party.  The four now examined the pile of body parts more carefully.  The stench deterred them from further investigation, but smooth-talking Drunk Eddie talked Pepa into probing the mass of flesh for treasure.  "Push it, baby, push it!" she shouted, as she dove headfirst into the festering mound.  Limbs, bones, and goo flew everywhere as she pushed deeper into the decaying heap, but alas, there was no gold.

Ever deeper the quarter ventured - the next room was familiar, a large diamond-shaped room with a single corpse-curtain remaining. It was dispatched from a distance, and the party moved into the unexplored space beyond. A tapestry hung on the side of the corridor, clearly obscuring a space behind it - it depicted a group of slavering walking-corpses chasing terrified naked humans.  Razoe began yanking it from the ceiling, pulling it down to reveal a group of actual slavering walking-corpses, who lashed out at Mongo and him.

The battle was brief, but left Mongo paralyzed and badly wounded. George expended the last of his healing spells, removing the paralysis and partially restoring Mongo's strength. They investigated the rooms beyond, finding a few hundred gold coins among the remains of the ghouls' feasting.  They also found a trapped room behind a second tapestry, full of hexagonal tiles that triggered hexagonal bear-traps when stepped on.  Tapestry and ghoul corpses were tossed upon the tiles to fire off the traps, and the party was able to explore the room - sadly, nothing of value was found.

The expedition decided to head back to the eight way room near the entrance to the second level, to explore the unexplored passages. They were waylaid by a pair of necromantic midgets and four blade zombies, and a brief combat ensued.  George brandished a symbol of his faith, and the zombies fled.  One of the midgets was slain outright, and the second was forced to surrender.

Drunk Eddie: "What's your name"
Fizzworth: "I am Fizzworth!  How did you take control of our servants?"
Drunk Eddie: "Powerful magic! We can do that whenever we want!  Now, who is your leader?"
Fizzworth: "He is Yerximantin, the King of the Corpsemongers!  Most perfect of all beings!"
Fazoe: "How do you make those zombies?"
Fizzworth: "We pierce the corpses with ritual gold blades, and through the power granted us by the compressors, they serve us!"
Mongo: "Compressors? Where are those?"
Fizzworth: "Southwest of here, in the labyrinth. Do you wish me to take you to them?"
Mongo: "No. How do we get down to the next level?"
Fizzworth: "There is a room with eight corridors leaving it, take the north corridor, and stairs lead down."
Mongo: "I knew it had to be there."
Razoe: "Near the clowns? Do you know the giant clown?"
Fizzworth: "Yes, the painted men, we hate them. They make poor zombie servants.  You humans are so much better!  The giant clown, we know, he is a mercenary, and works for gold."
Mongo: "Where do you get humans?"
Fizzworth: "They are hard to come by. It is rare for them to leave Miami.  We must trade with the arrogant hinge-heads."
Mongo: "You need humans? We can get you lots of humans."
Fizzworth: "You can? Where?"
Mongo: "Up, on the surface"
Fizzworth: "I don't know what that word means."
Mongo: "You go up, there's humans"
Fizzworth: "No, no, just screaming freaks and morlocks. They are worthless!"
Mongo: "No, just listen. There are more. We can get you more."
Fizzworth: "You can? You must have an audience with our king!"
Mongo: "No!  You will come with us!"

The interrogation concluded, the party decided it was time to high-tail it out of the dungeon with their necromancer captive. There was a brief moment of panic on Fizzworth's part upon encountering the sunlit surface ("The ceiling! Where is the ceiling!  Aie! Aieeeeee!") but Drunk Eddie's murderous threats quieted the dimunitive warlock.  They led him through Chelmsfordshire, where the necromancer stared greedily at the wealth of humanity, ripe for the plucking and re-animating, and then on to Denethix, where Fizzworth became overwhelmed with joy.  "Armies! We shall have armies of human-corpses, and all the levels of the dungeon shall kneel before us!"

As they made their way through Denethix, Mongo noticed that random strangers kept pointing at him, whispering to each other, and running off into the crowd.  Paranoid, he headed to the Bazaar Incomparable and bought a hooded cloak.  Drawing it close about him, the pointing and whispering eventually stopped, and he slunk back to his apartment.  Drunk Eddie went out to see if there were any wanted posters - lo and behold, they were taped up all over the city, bearing a crude likeness of the warrior and the words "Have you see this man? If you know where Mongo is located, see Mr. Roper at the Regal Beagle. 100 gp reward."

In the meantime, George headed to the old apartment building - and noticed Chrissie standing outside, watching. She noticed him back, and took off into the crowd.  He headed back to Mongo's place to report, making sure he wasn't followed.

The party conferred, and Drunk Eddie and George decided a visit to the Regal Beagle was in order.  The bartender directed them to a back room, and both Mr. and Mrs. Roper were present, half their faces sheathed in shining steel, the eye behind the steel mask shining with a brilliant red light.

Mr. Roper: "Stranger! Tenant George! Do you wish the reward? Where is Mongo located?"
Drunk Eddie: "I don't know that, but I'm looking for Mongo too."
Mr. Roper: "This is uninteresting.  I require the location of Mongo."
Drunk Eddie: "Yeah, he's going to get what's coming to him. He's annoyed me."
Mr. Roper: "Yes! Mongo is a dundering moron who must be eliminated!  His buffoonery cannot be tolerated!  He shall be crushed, burned, splintered, bled, tortured, reduced to ash, and beheaded!"
George: "I could lead you to him"
Mr. Roper: "You will do this immediately!  Tell me the location of Mongo now!" (lifting arm to reveal laser-cannon grafted at elbow)
Drunk Eddie: "Whoa! George doesn't know where he is, but he will!  He's in the dungeon!"
Mr. Roper: "He is always in the dungeon! But he always returns! I do not care about the dungeon, you will tell me the location of Mongo!"
Drunk Eddie: "Sure, we'll come back when we know..."

The pair hurriedly left the Regal Beagle, but Mrs. Roper was following behind them. It took a few duckings and turnings into alleyways before they were able to shake her.  They then returned to the apartment, conferred again, and George decided it was best to head to Chelmsfordshire alone, with no one but his henchmen.

Along the road, George noticed Chrissie following, far behind. She ducked into a field when she realized she was spotted, so George waved down a passing guard.

George: "This crazy chick is following me. Blonde. I can't shake her."
Guard: "Oh, I know what that's like.  They're on you like glue, but you're a stallion! You've got to be free!  No worries, my friend, when I find this woman I shall give her what-for!  Don't you change, man!"

George continued on to Chelmsfordshire, not spotting Chrissie again - but as he neared the village, he briefly spotted a small shiny metal object in the air a half mile off, that ducked back into the cornfields as he watched.

Danger awaited inside the village as well - in the person of Slezgar, sitting in his open-faced recruiting tent.  George walked up to Slezgar, who was decidedly hostile.

Slezgar: "You're a punk, and all your friends are punks, and you're all going to die."
George: "Bring it!"

Slezgar then brought it, in the form of a sleep spell.  George & his henchmen collapsed to the ground, snoring peacefully until one of the many soldiers of the Unyielding Fist that were about gave them a swift kick.  "Get up, you stinking drunks! I'm sick of you scoundrels falling down in the streets! I've got a good mind to toss you in the hoosegow!"  George gave this opportunity due consideration, but the soldier pushed him along before he could accept the kind offer.

Finally, back in the big city, the rest of the party decided it was time for action.  They gathered themselves together, along with Fizzworth, and marched off to Chelmsfordshire and their destiny.  Reunited with George, the group began planning their next assault upon both the dungeon and the poorly re-imagined cast of Three's Company.

Gains: 650 gp, tapestry depicting ghouls chasing people worth 10 gp, Fizzworth
Kills: 2 corpse curtains, 3 ghouls, 4 blade zombies, 1 necromantic midget
Losses: None