session recap, 7/10/2016

CAST
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Pai Mei the Wu-Jen (5)
Rolf the Dwarf (5)
Gutboy the Cleric (6) and his henchdog Rufus II
Kalimar the Ranger (5)

It's been a while since the actual game, so this update is lighter on the details.

The party decided to haul ass to White Plume Mountain and find the artifacts stolen from the Under-Miami Museum of Natural History.

- Bikers encountered on the way - captured, threatened to no avail ("Kill me! What do I care!" "Oh right, they come back to life"), and killed

- In the tunnels under White Plume Mountain, encountered Mindy the Gynosphinx.  Keraptis hired her as security, she blacked out, and woke up cut in half and sewn to a lion's body.  For no good reason, wings have also been sewn to the lion's shoulders.  She's been forced to ask stupid riddles ever since, and has had nothing to eat except some bikers who tried to force their way in ("Don't judge me!").  Stupid riddle answered, and then she is convinced to join the party

- Tunnel full of inductive plates that heat metal.  Rolf strips naked, goes to other end, and is pursued by horde of zombified Under-Miami policemen (who had been sent the day of the theft to recover the artifacts).  Mindy wades in, and in conjunction with gunfire and Gutboy's atheistic faith, they are destroyed.  Their diaries are recovered and eventually returned to the Under-Miami Police Dept

- Room with frictionless surfaces and pits full of spikes.  Mindy flies them over.

- Room with a mid-air stream and kayaks.  "Ehh, let's do something else".  Room ignored.

- Inverted ziggurat - each level a glassed-in enclosure, with alternating levels full of water.  Giant crayfish, giant scorpions, lion-halves sewn to seal-halves, and finally lions with human heads sewn to them and machine guns sewn to their tails.  Keraptis the Wizard has serious issues with sewing things on to lions.  Heavy gunfire shatters glass enclosures, creature mayhem ensues, water eventually drains, everything is dead.  Safe at bottom, looted!

- Room with tiny man, Qesnef, who claims to be a poor captured soul hired on as security and abandoned.  Party believes none of it.  Turns into giant monster, but Pai Mei's drowsy insects quickly send the fiend to sleep.  Throat slit, it's nature's way.  Hey, what's that under a sofa - the lost artifact Blackrazor, a sword so black it appears to be a rift in space.  Rolf grabs it, his eyes roll back, and he charges his comrades, shouting "BLOOD AND SOULS!"  Gutboy paralyzes him with atheistic miracles, Pai Mei and Kalimar break his hands and wrists until he lets go of Blackrazor, and they roll the evil sword into a rug for transport.  They also find a suit of lightweight green plastic armor - Rolf claims this as his own.

- Blackrazor returned!  Levels gained!  Mindy talked out of suicide and remains as henchwoman!