CAST
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Razoe the Fantra Paladin (3), his quantum henchman Boxer the Fighter (1), and his compsognathus Dino
Pai Mei the Wu Jen (3) and his stuntman, Colt "Rottweiler" Seavers the Type III Bounty Hunter (2)
Companions Razoe and Pei Mei had a need for adventure - but first, henchmen. Razoe's previously dead henchman Boxer reappeared once again, appearing both corpse-gray and healthy simultaneously, as he appeared to exist in the two states simultaneously. "I should've kept my job at the box factory," he lamented/stood silently.
While the not-quite-alive/not-quite-dead Boxer was an excellent resource for renewable henching, the duo had a need for further reinforcements. A few interviews later, and Pai Mei had hired the bounty hunter/stuntman Colt Seavers, who preferred to go by the nickname "Rottweiler". All he had for equipment was a bola, so the inscrutable wizard was forced to purchase armor and a more lethal wepaon for the bounty hunter.
One dilemma solved - and another arose - where to go for adventure? With only two PC's in the party, the dungeon seemed too dangerous, but a pair of broadsheets advertising lecture series at the Academy of Elevated Thought caught their eye.
The first, a lecture by Dr. Brian Falk, Professor of Criminology, theorized that crime was caused by defective bone structures, and promised reductions in crime through aggressive amputation. This did not appeal to the duo (perhaps due to their own less-than-legal inclinations).
The second was right up their alley - Madame Nicole Prepin, Professor of Astrophysics, was discussing her theory that the Green Comet of Undying Flesh was due to make another appearance in the skies above Denethix.
"The last appearance of the Green Comet coincided with a massive rebirth of the dead. Tens of thousands arose from their graves to devour the brains of the living. But that was in a darker age, an age of mysticism and confusion! Now, with the learning we've attained here at the Academy, we can harness these formerly deceased and usher in a new Golden Age of Prosperity! With the second coming of the Green Comet, the living will be free from toil and suffering. Our children shall sip champagne as they ride in air cars above fertile fields tended to by the less-living! To end this lecture, I would like to announce that the Academy is seeking non-academic assistance for our field work."
Her Utopian vision was deeply attractive to Pai Mei and Razoe, and the pair quizzed Madame Prepin about the job opportunity:
Pai Mei: "You need us to capture zombies, then?"
Madame Prepin: "No! Not zombies! I never want to hear you use that word, it's so prejudicial. I was thinking Morgue Pals. Or maybe Morticiafriends."
Razoe: "Where is the job?"
Madame Prepin: "The last time the Green Comet arrived, the Morgue Pals arose from a vast cemetery on a mountain far to the west of Denethix. It'll be at least a week's worth of travel. I'm authorized to offer each of you 1,000 gp if the expedition successfully brings back formerly-living-but-still-ambulatory specimens."
Pai Mei: "How many undead do we need to capture?"
Madame Prepin: "Please! Morgue Pals! A half dozen should be sufficient for initial trials. If we leave tomorrow, our arrival should roughly coincide with the Green Comet's appearance. Come up with a list of equipment you'll need and I'll see that the Academy provides it."
Razoe: "We'll need guns. And explosives."
Madame Prepin: "That's the one thing I can't get you. The chair of the Munitions Department has had it out for me for years now, he'll never cooperate."
Nonplused by the lack of things that go boom, Razoe and Pai Mei came up with a list of supplies, including a lighter-on-a-stick and a large wheeled wooden cage pulled by donkeys. The equipment acquired, the pair, their henchmen, a newly-purchased compsognathus, Madame Prepin, and a pair of grad students headed off into the wilderness. The trip to the funereal mountain was uneventful - a warband of moktars was heard, but the expedition simply skirted around them in silence.
Once at the mountain, they began following a trail to the cemetery at the top. At the halfway point, they found a smelly old man in buckskin clothes. He was busy manufacturing low-quality grave markers from tanned hides and sticks.
Pai Mei: "Who are you?"
Zeke: "I'm Zeke! This is my mountain! So, what are you doing up here?"
Pai Mei: "Madame Prepin, I think this one's for you"
Madame Prepin: "Oh, you've found a department chair out here in the wilderness? Tell me, what subject is this smelly bumpkin a professor of? I don't think so. Handle it, that's what you're paid for."
Razoe: "Do you live here alone?"
Zeke: "Oh, yes, it's just me, my wife died nigh on 50 years ago. Now I keep myself busy making grave markers for her, they don't last long. Buried her right over there, I did."
Pai Mei: "Well, I think we'll be moving on."
Zeke: "That's right! You'll want to head back down the mountain, bye, nice seeing you!"
Pai Mei: "We're heading up."
Zeke: "What? No! Don't! It's not safe!"
Razoe: "What do you mean?"
Zeke: "Their souls! They aren't at rest! I need to make more markers! They get restless! Can't you hear them?"
Pai Mei: "Can you?"
Zeke: "No! Sometimes! In my dreams! Don't go! You're doomed! DOOMED!"
Pai Mei and Razoe ordered the team to continue on, and Zeke rushed at the paladin. Colt "Rottweiler" Seaver flung his bola at Zeke, tangling his feet and tripping him up, and Razoe tied up the old man and gagged him. He then tossed the old man into the cage-on-wheels.
Razoe: "Hey, you grad students, go dig up his wife's corpse."
Grad student: "What? That's messed up. No way."
Razoe: "Well I'm not going to do it."
Madame Prepin: "You two! You want to pass this course? Listen to the man!"
The grad students reluctantly obeyed, and after a short time digging exhumed the bones of Zeke's wife. They tossed them in the cage with Zeke, who began sobbing uncontrollably. Razoe felt moved by his weeping, opened the cage door, and then beat Zeke to death with a rock. As Razoe had received no divine orders not to beat old men to death on the side of a mountain, his status as paladin remained intact - his oath and duty was to obey the gods in all their caprices and whims, not to uphold a moral standard that those divine machine intelligences themselves did not follow.
Grad students: "Aigh! No! What did you do that for?"
Razoe: "Ok, so there's two test subjects."
Madame Prepin: "You two! Shut up! This is science! You can't make a utopia without breaking a few skulls!"
Razoe: "When is the comet coming, so we can see if these two turn into zombies?"
Madame Prepin: "Morticiafriends! And it should be overhead this very night, according to my calculations."
The expedition headed further up the mountain, and reached a peculiar graveyard, with a few hundred grave markers. The markers were all made of rotting leather attached to thin sticks, with various names on them - "Bob", "Bob II", "Bob 72", "Linda 24", etc. The old man appeared to have been just making up names. In the center of the graveyard was a leafless, petrified stone tree, and beyond that, a cabin made of petrified wood.
As they approached, they heard a weird whistling noise. Pai Mei and Razoe became a bit nervous, and bravely sent the grad students to the cabin.
The pair poked their head in the front door - "It's empty!" "Then go in!" - went inside, popped back out - "There's someone in there, I hear music!" "Well find out who's playing" "No, you do it!" "There's going to be two more bodies in the cage!" - went inside again, and ran back to the expedition - "There's nobody playing music! You're the adventurers, you figure it out!"
Grumbling, the entire expedition headed to the cabin. The first (and largest) room in the cabin had several things in it:
a. A desk with a book on it, bound in leather, possibly elven. It is full of thousands upon thousands of names. The writing ranges from thousands of years old to possibly only 100 years old.
b. Fireplace w/ deer head mounted above it
c. Mirror, that for some reason doesn't reflect Razoe, Pai Mei, or Madame Prepin. The rest of the expedition is reflected normally
d. Trapdoor with a padlock
e. Clock, reading the wrong time (5:45)
f. A few easy chairs
They were puzzled about the mirror, but decided to move on and secure the rest of the cabin. There was a room with some travel bags and other gear that lookd to have been left recently, a room with a thousand-year-old painting of the current expedition standing before an altar, with a giant skeleton looking over it and an open door behind it. Razoe was depicted as sipping from a goblet as a light shone down on him from above. Razoe carefully poked it with his ten-foot-pole, but not carefully enough, as the ancient canvas suffered an inch-long tear.
They also heard music coming from behind a closed door. Opening it, the music stopped, and there was nothing in the room but a silent harpsichord. They closed it again - music! - opened again - no music! Then they had Boxer go in the room with the harpsichord, closed the door - music! - opened it! And there was Boxer, standing at the harpsichord.
Razoe: "Were you playing that?"
Boxer: "Yes."
Razoe: "Don't do that!"
They closed the door again - music! - and opened it again. Boxer was once again seated before the harpsichord.
Pai Mei: "Did you play that?"
Boxer: "Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah, that was me."
Pai Mei: "How long were you playing?"
Boxer: "Oh, hours."
Confused, they called Boxer out of the room again, closed the door, and once again heard music. They opened the door, and saw Boxer somehow back inside, seated at the harpsichord.
Pai Mei: "How'd you get there?"
Boxer: "You told me to come in here while you closed the door."
The party, puzzled and slightly disturbed, headed back to the main room. They saw that the easy chairs had changed position, and were now facing inwards towards them. The clock had also changed time - it now read 9:28. Grumbling at the oddities, Razoe decided to get on with it and broke off the padlock on the trap door.
Razoe: "Ok, you two grad students, open the trap door."
Grad student: "No way! You're treating us like crap! You don't even know our names!"
Razoe: "Fine. What are your names?"
Grad students: "I'm F***, and he's You."
Razoe: "Well, F*** You, open the trap door!"
Under duress, the grad students lifted the trap door, and the eerie whistling sound from the graveyard was even louder coming from the darkness below.
Gains: Zeke's body, Zeke's wife's skeleton
Kills: Zeke
Losses: the respect and admiration of a pair of grad students
2013-09-30
PDF
2013-07-02
Fruiting Towers gets some playtime
The adventure from last session was Fruiting Towers, from Fight On! #13, authored by yours truly. So if you want to see what's what with the tower-crusted hill, now you know where to go for more details. I made a deliberate choice in that adventure to use book treasure to save space, instead of coming up with unique items, so I had to tweak the censer on the fly to have a little more flavor.
It's fairly easy to figure out who Mongo's new character is - witness the ignoble death of henchwoman "Click."
The house rules I've got on character death revolve around how far the party has penetrated the dungeon. If a single PC dies, they can bring in a new character at a level equivalent to the deepest level the party has found, minus one. Since they spent 30 seconds in the 4th level, that means new PC's start at 3rd level. If there's a total party wipeout, then new PC's get to start with levels equal to the deepest level, period. There is an incentive to go deeper to just peek at the lower levels, but my players are fairly cowardly, so they've been ignoring the many staircases they've found.
My one regret from the last session is my complete failure to roll a single wandering monster encounter as they traipsed around the countryside. Ahh well, I almost always let the dice roll as they will, not as I want.
It's fairly easy to figure out who Mongo's new character is - witness the ignoble death of henchwoman "Click."
The house rules I've got on character death revolve around how far the party has penetrated the dungeon. If a single PC dies, they can bring in a new character at a level equivalent to the deepest level the party has found, minus one. Since they spent 30 seconds in the 4th level, that means new PC's start at 3rd level. If there's a total party wipeout, then new PC's get to start with levels equal to the deepest level, period. There is an incentive to go deeper to just peek at the lower levels, but my players are fairly cowardly, so they've been ignoring the many staircases they've found.
My one regret from the last session is my complete failure to roll a single wandering monster encounter as they traipsed around the countryside. Ahh well, I almost always let the dice roll as they will, not as I want.
2013-07-01
session recap, 6/27/2013
CAST
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George P. Burdell the Cleric (4) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (2) and Relgar the Elf (1)
Razoe the Fantra Paladin (3) and his henchman Boxer the Mysteriously Reincarnated Fighter (1)
Pai Mei the Wu Jen (3) and his henchmonster, Q'klik'tak the Insect-Woman (1)
The adventurers gathered together in Denethix, and plotted their next move. Through some mystery of fate, the henchman "Boxer", who had died back in March, had returned to Razoe's service - a clerical error had resulted in his return from the Great Beyond. George and Razoe, together with Pai Mei, a wu jen from the Secret City of the Shoguns and now bosom companion, headed towards Chelmsfordshire, to once again hire a henchman.
There was a diverse array of potential henchmen offering their services in the newly-erected mall in the center of the village. Pai Mei quickly met with and rejected an enfeebled old man looking for one last score, and a foppish dandy named Julian Wysan, who swore revenge when he was told he wasn't invited. The sorcerer finally settled on hiring a baby-eating Insect-Woman Q'klik'tak, who was quickly nicknamed Click. The risk of encountering babies in the dungeon seemed slight, after all.
And into the dungeon they went - heading back towards the first level, to experiment with the green crystal skull they had recovered. In the "gatehouse" level, they ran into a party of friendly Scientists, who recognized George. They warned the group about a gigantic screaming freak that was stalking the first level - so large it had to crawl on its hands and knees through the corridors below.
Warned, the group cautiously made their way to the Hall of Bones, former lair of the much smaller screaming freaks - and saw that the bones had been crushed and pushed aside to make a ten foot wide path down the hall. They quietly made their way to the end of the hall, where there was a stone box, and a bas relief of a tree carved onto the wall behind. A niche with three metal pins was cut into the tree-sculpture, and George placed the skull upon it. It glowed green - clearly the skull was meant to be there. The party could not figure out the significance of placing the skull there, and so removed it and left.
They next headed towards the cross-shaped room with the four possible-portals - each with a skull-niche above it. The green skull, when placed there, vibrated noisily and sparks shot from the pins - clearly, this was not a spot for the green skull. Disappointed, they put the skull into their pack and decided to try their luck somewhere outside the dungeon.
George had heard a rumor from his gossipy fellow clerics that a bright light had been seen falling from the sky, some miles north of the city. The party decided to investigate, and they headed north, stopping first in the well-to-do town of Wickshire. The main street through was lined on either side with giant weathered stone heads. Pai Mei interrogated one of the locals, a well-to-do farmer, plied him with the local clam-ale, and heard a rather typical story of a lovelorn suicide's ghost haunting one of the stone heads. The details were sketchy, but the farmer swore that he knews a fellow who saw the ghost and aged ten years in a night.
Giving short thrift to the farmer's tale, the party continued north to Lannington, a small village of cranberry bogs and frog poachers. They stopped at the inn, and were beckoned by a merchant named Hrezling.
Hrezling: "I tell you, I was robbed by a bunch of bandits only a day's march north of here - they kidnapped my daughter, who had my necklace! Living in stone huts, as weird as that sounds. Look, I'm offering good money for the return of my necklace. Hrezwina's a fine girl, but surely despoilt, and her marriage contract virtually worthless. 1500 gold for the return of my belongings! Not that it's valuable - it's a family heirloom, is all, and I'm a sentimental man."
George: "Did you see a light from the sky about a month ago?"
Hrezling: "What? No, I wasn't here a month ago. I was out among the Towers, selling my goods to the villages out there. There's not many who will risk it, so it's good money!"
The party accepted the offer, and headed north - and eventually saw a hill in the distance, topped by scaly stone towers, which were in turn topped with stone huts. The party approached, and saw that the closest towers were guarded by crocodile-headed men.
George hailed the crocodilians, and asked to meet with their later. The crocodilians told the rest of the party to wait, and escorted George up to the top of a tower. The floor was lined with furs, a strange hard-to-read book was laying on a small writing desk, a naked woman reclined on a pillow, and a strange half-man, half-machine - split right down the middle - greeted him.
Malazar-Left: "Behold! I am Malazar-Left, greatest of wizards! I command you to take your fellows and attack my treacherous brother, Malazar-Right! His behavior is intolerable!"
Naked woman (rolling eyes): "Yeah, hi. I'm Hrezwina."
Malazar-Left: "Silence, woman! I am commanding this wretch!"
George: "I'm sure we can work out a deal."
Malazar-Left: "A greedy one! If you obey, you shall receive a portion of my brother's treasure - but none of my own! It was taken from me through stealth! Disobey, and your reward shall be only death!"
George: "Ok, we'll attack your brother for you. Let me go tell my team."
Malazar-Left: "I'm watching you! Betray me, and you shall feel my wrath!"
George left the threatening wizard and returned to the party. They proceeded to skirt around the hill, scouting out the defenses of Malazar-Right. Both sides seemed evenly matched, each with at least a dozen crocodilians (for Malazar-Left) or weird three-eyed helmeted beast-men (for Malazar-Right). The wizards' minions patrolled a crudely-constructed rock wall dividing the hill, eyeing each other watchfully.
The party convened, discusses the results of their surveillance, and decided it was best to keep heading north, looking for the fallen light. They followed the road for days, leaving the hill country and finally terminating at the edge of a lake - the Eater of Cities. A small village of decrepit mud huts had been established at the end of the road.
Filthy villager: "Hello there! My, you're a tough looking crew - just the type we need living in our village!"
Pai Mei: "Not going to happen. Did you see a light a month ago?"
Filthy: "What? Oh, something flashed way south of here, in the hills."
Pai Mei: "Why do they call it the Eater of Cities?"
Filthy: "Oh, it's creepy. You can see abandoned towns and villages under the water of the lake. Some people think it's cursed, but not us. This is way better than life in the Feasting Trees - the trees were getting way too aggressive. How many people have to get eaten by a tree before you decide it's time to move? I've had my fill!"
Pai Mei: "Well, good luck with that. See ya."
Realizing their mistake, the party headed back south - eventually making their way past the towered hill, and back to Lannington. They saw the merchant Hrezling packing up his carts and preparing to head south.
Razoe: "We saw Hrezwina."
Hrezling: "What? Great! Where is the necklace? And Hrezwina, of course. But yeah, give me the necklace and I shall produce your reward!"
Pai Mei: "A half-man half-robot wizard had her. Look, we need some money up front to hire an army."
Hrezling: "What? You lying frauds! Get out of here! I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were nothing but cheats!"
Razoe: "So where are you heading?"
Hrezling: "Back to Denethix! Now get out of here!"
Razoe: "Oh, us too. We'll go with you."
Hrezling (suspicious): "Oh, I don't think so."
Pai Mei: "It's the way we're going."
Hrezling whispered something to one of his servants, who returned in an hour's time with a pair of the Unyielding Fist.
Soldier: "You lot! What do you think you're doing harassing this merchant?"
Pai Mei: "We're just going south to Denethix, that's all."
Soldier: "Are any of you citizens? I didn't think so. Because Hrezling is, and we don't tolerate harassing citizens."
The party eyed Hrezling angrily, but after consulting with each other decided it would be best not to tangle with the Fist. They headed back north, returning to the towered hill - about a week had passed since their first visit with Malazar-Left.
They found the hill entirely deserted. New towers had sprung up from the ground as well, and there were a few yellow stone globes 5' wide protruding from the surface. They investigated the towers - the stairs inside spiraled up around a central 10' pillar, and the floors of the huts at the top each had a spiral aperture-like pattern cut into them. Razoe prodded the pattern with a 10' pole, but was unable to make the aperture open.
Eventually, the party discovered a tower that had no stairs - the thief Fast Eddie climbed the tower and lowered a rope. Inside the hu at the top was a shaft leading down into the hill. The shaft was lined with a purple fleshy substance, and it exhaled and inhaled air at regular intervals.
The crew climbed up the tower, and then down through the shaft. At the bottom of the shaft were openings leading into a vast cavern. Inside the cavern were several thorny towers rising from floor to ceiling - most glowed, but one was black and dead-looking. Some of the towers had stairs leading to their entrances, and others were only accessible via narrow bridges passing between the upper stories.
The tower had plentiful "life" inside it - flying red bat-things with needle-tipped probosci instead of faces, blue winged worms with razor-sharp mandibles, squat 2' tall brown humanoids with snuffling noses, but no eyes or mouth - a bizarre menagerie made its way through the cavern.
The brown humanoids were busy pulling bones from a liquid-filled ditch around one of the towers, and then tossing them into a another ditch at the base of another tower. The party made a beeline for the bone-ditch tower, and rushed through an opening in its base. They saw that it too had a flesh-lined shaft leading up to the surface, roughly corresponding to the location of a shallow bone-strewn pit at the top of the hill. There was no light shining from above, and no obvious way to climb up and open the floor of the "pit" above.
The party then quickly rushed towards a set of stairs leading into the black tower. Inside was an empty chamber, with stairs leading up and down. Heading down, they found another circular chamber, with three 7' tall humanoids covered in yellow pus inside, making threatening gestures at a brass censer laying on the floor.
Confused, the party decided the best idea was to kill - and kill they did. The pus-monsters were tough, but eventually succumbed to the distortion-laden chops of Razoe's Metal Axe, the magical hail of stones from Pai Mei's secret Eastern magic, and a withering hail of missile fire from the henchmen on the stairs. The censer was stuffed in a sack, Click extruded her ovipositor and deposited a clutch of eggs in the corpses, and the party headed upstairs.
On the upper floors, they found a narrow bridge connecting to another tower - and above that, a chamber with over a dozen blue winged worms feeding on fluids seeping from cracks in the black stone walls. One of the worms detached and flew at Razoe, hungry for human flesh - and he beat a hasty retreat downstairs before slaughtering it with his axe.
The group came up with the plan to lure the worms down a few at a time, and kill them in small groups. Razoe poked his head up and attracted the worms' attention - and four responded. The battle did not go as intended - the flapping worms had their choice of targets, and several went for the weaker members of the party. Razoe's axe sang a metal tune as the worms were halved beneath its blade, but he was not fast enough - by the time the battle was through, most of the henchmen were unconscious. George and Razoe used their divine healing magics to restore most, but the disturbing insect-woman Click was left to bleed out.
Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, the party fled the hollow hill and headed back towards Denethix. They consulted with Frondgar the Elven Sage, who informed them that they had recovered the Censer of the Ancestors - if a full ten minutes were spent honoring the ancestors in the appropriate fashion, the ancestor spirits would serve them in the form of an air elemental. The spirits are quick to take offense, though - the invoker must continue to honor them, and take no other actions other than slow movement, or else they will turn on the summoner.
Gains: Censer of Controlling Ancestor Spirits
Kills: 3 pus-monsters, 5 flying blue worms
Losses: Malazar (both halves), Hrezwina, unknown number of weird minions, Click
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George P. Burdell the Cleric (4) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (2) and Relgar the Elf (1)
Razoe the Fantra Paladin (3) and his henchman Boxer the Mysteriously Reincarnated Fighter (1)
Pai Mei the Wu Jen (3) and his henchmonster, Q'klik'tak the Insect-Woman (1)
The adventurers gathered together in Denethix, and plotted their next move. Through some mystery of fate, the henchman "Boxer", who had died back in March, had returned to Razoe's service - a clerical error had resulted in his return from the Great Beyond. George and Razoe, together with Pai Mei, a wu jen from the Secret City of the Shoguns and now bosom companion, headed towards Chelmsfordshire, to once again hire a henchman.
There was a diverse array of potential henchmen offering their services in the newly-erected mall in the center of the village. Pai Mei quickly met with and rejected an enfeebled old man looking for one last score, and a foppish dandy named Julian Wysan, who swore revenge when he was told he wasn't invited. The sorcerer finally settled on hiring a baby-eating Insect-Woman Q'klik'tak, who was quickly nicknamed Click. The risk of encountering babies in the dungeon seemed slight, after all.
And into the dungeon they went - heading back towards the first level, to experiment with the green crystal skull they had recovered. In the "gatehouse" level, they ran into a party of friendly Scientists, who recognized George. They warned the group about a gigantic screaming freak that was stalking the first level - so large it had to crawl on its hands and knees through the corridors below.
Warned, the group cautiously made their way to the Hall of Bones, former lair of the much smaller screaming freaks - and saw that the bones had been crushed and pushed aside to make a ten foot wide path down the hall. They quietly made their way to the end of the hall, where there was a stone box, and a bas relief of a tree carved onto the wall behind. A niche with three metal pins was cut into the tree-sculpture, and George placed the skull upon it. It glowed green - clearly the skull was meant to be there. The party could not figure out the significance of placing the skull there, and so removed it and left.
They next headed towards the cross-shaped room with the four possible-portals - each with a skull-niche above it. The green skull, when placed there, vibrated noisily and sparks shot from the pins - clearly, this was not a spot for the green skull. Disappointed, they put the skull into their pack and decided to try their luck somewhere outside the dungeon.
George had heard a rumor from his gossipy fellow clerics that a bright light had been seen falling from the sky, some miles north of the city. The party decided to investigate, and they headed north, stopping first in the well-to-do town of Wickshire. The main street through was lined on either side with giant weathered stone heads. Pai Mei interrogated one of the locals, a well-to-do farmer, plied him with the local clam-ale, and heard a rather typical story of a lovelorn suicide's ghost haunting one of the stone heads. The details were sketchy, but the farmer swore that he knews a fellow who saw the ghost and aged ten years in a night.
Giving short thrift to the farmer's tale, the party continued north to Lannington, a small village of cranberry bogs and frog poachers. They stopped at the inn, and were beckoned by a merchant named Hrezling.
Hrezling: "I tell you, I was robbed by a bunch of bandits only a day's march north of here - they kidnapped my daughter, who had my necklace! Living in stone huts, as weird as that sounds. Look, I'm offering good money for the return of my necklace. Hrezwina's a fine girl, but surely despoilt, and her marriage contract virtually worthless. 1500 gold for the return of my belongings! Not that it's valuable - it's a family heirloom, is all, and I'm a sentimental man."
George: "Did you see a light from the sky about a month ago?"
Hrezling: "What? No, I wasn't here a month ago. I was out among the Towers, selling my goods to the villages out there. There's not many who will risk it, so it's good money!"
The party accepted the offer, and headed north - and eventually saw a hill in the distance, topped by scaly stone towers, which were in turn topped with stone huts. The party approached, and saw that the closest towers were guarded by crocodile-headed men.
George hailed the crocodilians, and asked to meet with their later. The crocodilians told the rest of the party to wait, and escorted George up to the top of a tower. The floor was lined with furs, a strange hard-to-read book was laying on a small writing desk, a naked woman reclined on a pillow, and a strange half-man, half-machine - split right down the middle - greeted him.
Malazar-Left: "Behold! I am Malazar-Left, greatest of wizards! I command you to take your fellows and attack my treacherous brother, Malazar-Right! His behavior is intolerable!"
Naked woman (rolling eyes): "Yeah, hi. I'm Hrezwina."
Malazar-Left: "Silence, woman! I am commanding this wretch!"
George: "I'm sure we can work out a deal."
Malazar-Left: "A greedy one! If you obey, you shall receive a portion of my brother's treasure - but none of my own! It was taken from me through stealth! Disobey, and your reward shall be only death!"
George: "Ok, we'll attack your brother for you. Let me go tell my team."
Malazar-Left: "I'm watching you! Betray me, and you shall feel my wrath!"
George left the threatening wizard and returned to the party. They proceeded to skirt around the hill, scouting out the defenses of Malazar-Right. Both sides seemed evenly matched, each with at least a dozen crocodilians (for Malazar-Left) or weird three-eyed helmeted beast-men (for Malazar-Right). The wizards' minions patrolled a crudely-constructed rock wall dividing the hill, eyeing each other watchfully.
The party convened, discusses the results of their surveillance, and decided it was best to keep heading north, looking for the fallen light. They followed the road for days, leaving the hill country and finally terminating at the edge of a lake - the Eater of Cities. A small village of decrepit mud huts had been established at the end of the road.
Filthy villager: "Hello there! My, you're a tough looking crew - just the type we need living in our village!"
Pai Mei: "Not going to happen. Did you see a light a month ago?"
Filthy: "What? Oh, something flashed way south of here, in the hills."
Pai Mei: "Why do they call it the Eater of Cities?"
Filthy: "Oh, it's creepy. You can see abandoned towns and villages under the water of the lake. Some people think it's cursed, but not us. This is way better than life in the Feasting Trees - the trees were getting way too aggressive. How many people have to get eaten by a tree before you decide it's time to move? I've had my fill!"
Pai Mei: "Well, good luck with that. See ya."
Realizing their mistake, the party headed back south - eventually making their way past the towered hill, and back to Lannington. They saw the merchant Hrezling packing up his carts and preparing to head south.
Razoe: "We saw Hrezwina."
Hrezling: "What? Great! Where is the necklace? And Hrezwina, of course. But yeah, give me the necklace and I shall produce your reward!"
Pai Mei: "A half-man half-robot wizard had her. Look, we need some money up front to hire an army."
Hrezling: "What? You lying frauds! Get out of here! I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were nothing but cheats!"
Razoe: "So where are you heading?"
Hrezling: "Back to Denethix! Now get out of here!"
Razoe: "Oh, us too. We'll go with you."
Hrezling (suspicious): "Oh, I don't think so."
Pai Mei: "It's the way we're going."
Hrezling whispered something to one of his servants, who returned in an hour's time with a pair of the Unyielding Fist.
Soldier: "You lot! What do you think you're doing harassing this merchant?"
Pai Mei: "We're just going south to Denethix, that's all."
Soldier: "Are any of you citizens? I didn't think so. Because Hrezling is, and we don't tolerate harassing citizens."
The party eyed Hrezling angrily, but after consulting with each other decided it would be best not to tangle with the Fist. They headed back north, returning to the towered hill - about a week had passed since their first visit with Malazar-Left.
They found the hill entirely deserted. New towers had sprung up from the ground as well, and there were a few yellow stone globes 5' wide protruding from the surface. They investigated the towers - the stairs inside spiraled up around a central 10' pillar, and the floors of the huts at the top each had a spiral aperture-like pattern cut into them. Razoe prodded the pattern with a 10' pole, but was unable to make the aperture open.
Eventually, the party discovered a tower that had no stairs - the thief Fast Eddie climbed the tower and lowered a rope. Inside the hu at the top was a shaft leading down into the hill. The shaft was lined with a purple fleshy substance, and it exhaled and inhaled air at regular intervals.
The crew climbed up the tower, and then down through the shaft. At the bottom of the shaft were openings leading into a vast cavern. Inside the cavern were several thorny towers rising from floor to ceiling - most glowed, but one was black and dead-looking. Some of the towers had stairs leading to their entrances, and others were only accessible via narrow bridges passing between the upper stories.
The tower had plentiful "life" inside it - flying red bat-things with needle-tipped probosci instead of faces, blue winged worms with razor-sharp mandibles, squat 2' tall brown humanoids with snuffling noses, but no eyes or mouth - a bizarre menagerie made its way through the cavern.
The brown humanoids were busy pulling bones from a liquid-filled ditch around one of the towers, and then tossing them into a another ditch at the base of another tower. The party made a beeline for the bone-ditch tower, and rushed through an opening in its base. They saw that it too had a flesh-lined shaft leading up to the surface, roughly corresponding to the location of a shallow bone-strewn pit at the top of the hill. There was no light shining from above, and no obvious way to climb up and open the floor of the "pit" above.
The party then quickly rushed towards a set of stairs leading into the black tower. Inside was an empty chamber, with stairs leading up and down. Heading down, they found another circular chamber, with three 7' tall humanoids covered in yellow pus inside, making threatening gestures at a brass censer laying on the floor.
Confused, the party decided the best idea was to kill - and kill they did. The pus-monsters were tough, but eventually succumbed to the distortion-laden chops of Razoe's Metal Axe, the magical hail of stones from Pai Mei's secret Eastern magic, and a withering hail of missile fire from the henchmen on the stairs. The censer was stuffed in a sack, Click extruded her ovipositor and deposited a clutch of eggs in the corpses, and the party headed upstairs.
On the upper floors, they found a narrow bridge connecting to another tower - and above that, a chamber with over a dozen blue winged worms feeding on fluids seeping from cracks in the black stone walls. One of the worms detached and flew at Razoe, hungry for human flesh - and he beat a hasty retreat downstairs before slaughtering it with his axe.
The group came up with the plan to lure the worms down a few at a time, and kill them in small groups. Razoe poked his head up and attracted the worms' attention - and four responded. The battle did not go as intended - the flapping worms had their choice of targets, and several went for the weaker members of the party. Razoe's axe sang a metal tune as the worms were halved beneath its blade, but he was not fast enough - by the time the battle was through, most of the henchmen were unconscious. George and Razoe used their divine healing magics to restore most, but the disturbing insect-woman Click was left to bleed out.
Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, the party fled the hollow hill and headed back towards Denethix. They consulted with Frondgar the Elven Sage, who informed them that they had recovered the Censer of the Ancestors - if a full ten minutes were spent honoring the ancestors in the appropriate fashion, the ancestor spirits would serve them in the form of an air elemental. The spirits are quick to take offense, though - the invoker must continue to honor them, and take no other actions other than slow movement, or else they will turn on the summoner.
Gains: Censer of Controlling Ancestor Spirits
Kills: 3 pus-monsters, 5 flying blue worms
Losses: Malazar (both halves), Hrezwina, unknown number of weird minions, Click
2013-06-17
session recap, 6/13/2013
CAST
--------
Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchlady "Bunny" the Thief (3), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
Mongo and Gutboy peered into the medical bay to see what the robo-zombies were up to - they were clustered around the central computer-pillar. Mongo, using the power of the Sword of Unlife, had previously compelled one of the robo-zombies to be his servant. He sent this zombie in to the computer - "Ahh! You have returned to me! Control is again mine!" - to ATTACK - "No! Betrayed by my own! I shall destroy you, Thals!"
The other zombies in the room began pummeling Mongo's zombie, while metal tentacles protruding from the computer-pillar, tipped with blades and syringes, tore into its flesh. Meanwhile, the corpse of henchman William Harrison began to stir - electrical cables had snaked their way into his flesh, and he arose as a servant of the tank's computer. His attack was thwarted instantly by the power of Gutboy's faith, and he pushed Mongo aside to retreat into the medical bay with his master.
As Mongo's zombie was destroyed, he took control of another with the Sword of Unlife, forcing it to turn on its master. This happened repeatedly as each zombie was destroyed in turn. The bodies of defeated zombies in the bay began to rise again as well, reinforced with cables where joints had been damaged - and all were turned. The computer, sensing the tide of battle going against it, offered a truce - "Leave! Thals, you are free to go! Depart!" and the party took the offer.
The only problem they had left was that the door out of the crew quarters was magically sealed. The party hoped that the arcane lock would dissipate with time, and began piling the metal debris that filled the crew quarters in front of the medical bay hatch in case it didn't.
MEANWHILE...
Back in the flying head, Bunny was shocked when a bullet ripped through her shoulder. She turned to see the wizard Ferayn floating in the center of the head, a rifle in his hands. "Die, interloper!" the mad wizard shouted as he took another shot - but it went wide. Bunny responded by grabbing her longbow and putting two arrows through the wizard, and fell into the grain pile below, dead. The flying head shuddered, and the interior lights dimmed noticeably, but then recovered, as the wizard gasped his last.
AND BACK IN THE TANK...
Eventually, Rufus II the Blink Dog awoke from his supernatural slumber, and blinked back into the crew quarters. Sadly, he couldn't budge the door handle from the other side - the magic sealing the door was strong. Mongo peeked over the barrier into the medical bay, and was horrified to see that the robo-zombies were being reassembled. The revived zombies lined up and marched towards the barrier, intent on breaking through and slaughtering the heroes.
Gutboy responded by repeatedly turning the zombies, and Mongo attempted to dominate them with his Sword of Unlife - but he found himself no longer able to overcome the computer's influence. That proved to be no obstacle - blasts from the laser rifle recovered on the upper deck were just as effective at dissuading the zombies. The turned zombies were unable to leave the medical bay to attack the party, and Mongo's potshots were seriously damaging the computer - it responded by having its dead servants pile atop it, acting as a shield of unliving flesh.
Gutboy grabbed the laser from Mongo and took aim at the zombies - the blast of focused light seared a zombie from existence, leaving an opening in the corpse-shield. He fired a second blast before the zombies could cover the gap, and the computer exploded, shooting jets of flame from various vents and shattered display-surfaces. The zombies collapsed into a heap of long-dead flesh.
Mongo and Gutboy searched through the debris, and found:
- Various coins, with a scowling priest-king's face on one side, and clenched fists on the other
- A medal for "Gallantry" of amber and platinum
- A picture of a handsome young man in a wood frame
- An ancient suit of fine mesh chainmail
- One ton of silver wire
- 50 pounds of gold wire
- 6 ruby lenses
- Gold-plated robot hand
- Human skull with glowing circuit traces etched on it
- Crude wire cage with a robot spider in it
The victorious party then spent several hours battering on the bulkhead door with a battering ram assembled from the metal bunks, and eventually the hinges gave way and it fell open.
Back at the outer deck, Mongo and Gutboy gestured for Bunny to bring the head down. She explained the flying head's power seemed to be fading away - the lights had been growing dimmer since the death of the wizard, and it was flying erratically. Unphased, Gutboy and Mongo had their henchmen and hirelings haul the loot up into the head, while Gutboy spent 8 hours in prayer, recovering his spells. While they waited for Gutboy, the rest of the crew saw a gigantic frog-like monster leave through a hole in one of the lower decks of the tank - it was the size of an elephant. It returned from its hunt an hour later, dragging the carcass of a sailgator (what the ancients called a "dimetrodon") with it.
Once his spells were recovered, they headed back into the communications bridge, and began playing with the computers once more. They were able to view a detailed map of the lands surrounding the tank, and then were shocked to see the static-filled God's Eye fill with an image of a fork and spoon - the image of Wurgol, god of cutlery. As the God's Eye displayed this, a mechanical voice intoned "Satellite uplink established. What is your query?"
Gutboy: "What is Wurgol?"
Computer/Wurgol: "Wurgol is a satellite-borne artificial intelligence, placed in orbit in the year 2123. It is one of the primary components of the Veil."
Gutboy: "What's the Veil?"
Computer/Wurgol: "The Veil is a barrier maintained by a ring of satellites to prevent the intrusion into the Earth dimension by outsiders."
Gutboy: "How does magic work?"
Computer/Wurgol: "You refer to the nanocyte fields permeating the atmosphere. The nanocytes provide localized concentrated energy to authorized personnel. Authorization is granted by the artificial intelligences in orbit around the Earth, but unauthorized access has become common."
Gutboy: "What is unauthorized..."
Computer/Wurgol: "Uplink terminated."
Trezgar the Elf then attempted to manipulate the computer as well - while he was able to get a monitor to display the following message: "MALAKAZE has attempted to penetrate the Veil. Intrusion prevented", he was unable to reestablish contact with Wurgol.
A DEATH AND AN UNFORTUNATE RESURRECTION...
After some discussion, Gutboy and Mongo decided to head belowdecks despite the risk of the frog-monster - an fateful decision. They climbed down the ladder to the crew quarters/medical bay, Mongo pulled out his flashlight, and he opened the hatch to see what lay below. As he shone the light around, he illuminated eight eyes on a giant frog-like head - the frog-beast! It sent its frog-tongue lashing out at Mongo - the bone needle at the end of the tongue pierced his plate armor and plunged into his shoulder.
Mongo rolled back and away, slamming the hatch shut, and his breathing became erratic. The frog-tongue-needle had injected him with a lethal dose of poison. Gutboy ordered the soil-bearers to strip his pack and equipment off and fit him into the dirt-sack. Sadly, even the power of fresh soil on his carrot-skin was unable to prevent the poison from taking his life, and Mongo died.
Do not be sad, readers - recall the promise etched on Mongo's Sword of Unlife - "Even Death May Die." The power of unlife flowed through Mongo's body, and as his soil bearers tried pushing his dirt-sack up the ladder, his arms tore through the burlap and his cold dead hands grabbed their throats. Un-Mongo sucked the living breath from both soil bearers and prepared to turn on Gutboy - only Gutboy's faith saved him, and Un-Mongo fled from the cleric to the upper decks.
Gutboy, Trezgar, and Bunny quickly hewed the limbs and heads from the soil-bearers to prevent them from arising as undead, and climbed the ladder to the upper decks.
--------
Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchlady "Bunny" the Thief (3), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
Mongo and Gutboy peered into the medical bay to see what the robo-zombies were up to - they were clustered around the central computer-pillar. Mongo, using the power of the Sword of Unlife, had previously compelled one of the robo-zombies to be his servant. He sent this zombie in to the computer - "Ahh! You have returned to me! Control is again mine!" - to ATTACK - "No! Betrayed by my own! I shall destroy you, Thals!"
The other zombies in the room began pummeling Mongo's zombie, while metal tentacles protruding from the computer-pillar, tipped with blades and syringes, tore into its flesh. Meanwhile, the corpse of henchman William Harrison began to stir - electrical cables had snaked their way into his flesh, and he arose as a servant of the tank's computer. His attack was thwarted instantly by the power of Gutboy's faith, and he pushed Mongo aside to retreat into the medical bay with his master.
As Mongo's zombie was destroyed, he took control of another with the Sword of Unlife, forcing it to turn on its master. This happened repeatedly as each zombie was destroyed in turn. The bodies of defeated zombies in the bay began to rise again as well, reinforced with cables where joints had been damaged - and all were turned. The computer, sensing the tide of battle going against it, offered a truce - "Leave! Thals, you are free to go! Depart!" and the party took the offer.
The only problem they had left was that the door out of the crew quarters was magically sealed. The party hoped that the arcane lock would dissipate with time, and began piling the metal debris that filled the crew quarters in front of the medical bay hatch in case it didn't.
MEANWHILE...
Back in the flying head, Bunny was shocked when a bullet ripped through her shoulder. She turned to see the wizard Ferayn floating in the center of the head, a rifle in his hands. "Die, interloper!" the mad wizard shouted as he took another shot - but it went wide. Bunny responded by grabbing her longbow and putting two arrows through the wizard, and fell into the grain pile below, dead. The flying head shuddered, and the interior lights dimmed noticeably, but then recovered, as the wizard gasped his last.
AND BACK IN THE TANK...
Eventually, Rufus II the Blink Dog awoke from his supernatural slumber, and blinked back into the crew quarters. Sadly, he couldn't budge the door handle from the other side - the magic sealing the door was strong. Mongo peeked over the barrier into the medical bay, and was horrified to see that the robo-zombies were being reassembled. The revived zombies lined up and marched towards the barrier, intent on breaking through and slaughtering the heroes.
Gutboy responded by repeatedly turning the zombies, and Mongo attempted to dominate them with his Sword of Unlife - but he found himself no longer able to overcome the computer's influence. That proved to be no obstacle - blasts from the laser rifle recovered on the upper deck were just as effective at dissuading the zombies. The turned zombies were unable to leave the medical bay to attack the party, and Mongo's potshots were seriously damaging the computer - it responded by having its dead servants pile atop it, acting as a shield of unliving flesh.
Gutboy grabbed the laser from Mongo and took aim at the zombies - the blast of focused light seared a zombie from existence, leaving an opening in the corpse-shield. He fired a second blast before the zombies could cover the gap, and the computer exploded, shooting jets of flame from various vents and shattered display-surfaces. The zombies collapsed into a heap of long-dead flesh.
Mongo and Gutboy searched through the debris, and found:
- Various coins, with a scowling priest-king's face on one side, and clenched fists on the other
- A medal for "Gallantry" of amber and platinum
- A picture of a handsome young man in a wood frame
- An ancient suit of fine mesh chainmail
- One ton of silver wire
- 50 pounds of gold wire
- 6 ruby lenses
- Gold-plated robot hand
- Human skull with glowing circuit traces etched on it
- Crude wire cage with a robot spider in it
The victorious party then spent several hours battering on the bulkhead door with a battering ram assembled from the metal bunks, and eventually the hinges gave way and it fell open.
Back at the outer deck, Mongo and Gutboy gestured for Bunny to bring the head down. She explained the flying head's power seemed to be fading away - the lights had been growing dimmer since the death of the wizard, and it was flying erratically. Unphased, Gutboy and Mongo had their henchmen and hirelings haul the loot up into the head, while Gutboy spent 8 hours in prayer, recovering his spells. While they waited for Gutboy, the rest of the crew saw a gigantic frog-like monster leave through a hole in one of the lower decks of the tank - it was the size of an elephant. It returned from its hunt an hour later, dragging the carcass of a sailgator (what the ancients called a "dimetrodon") with it.
Once his spells were recovered, they headed back into the communications bridge, and began playing with the computers once more. They were able to view a detailed map of the lands surrounding the tank, and then were shocked to see the static-filled God's Eye fill with an image of a fork and spoon - the image of Wurgol, god of cutlery. As the God's Eye displayed this, a mechanical voice intoned "Satellite uplink established. What is your query?"
Gutboy: "What is Wurgol?"
Computer/Wurgol: "Wurgol is a satellite-borne artificial intelligence, placed in orbit in the year 2123. It is one of the primary components of the Veil."
Gutboy: "What's the Veil?"
Computer/Wurgol: "The Veil is a barrier maintained by a ring of satellites to prevent the intrusion into the Earth dimension by outsiders."
Gutboy: "How does magic work?"
Computer/Wurgol: "You refer to the nanocyte fields permeating the atmosphere. The nanocytes provide localized concentrated energy to authorized personnel. Authorization is granted by the artificial intelligences in orbit around the Earth, but unauthorized access has become common."
Gutboy: "What is unauthorized..."
Computer/Wurgol: "Uplink terminated."
Trezgar the Elf then attempted to manipulate the computer as well - while he was able to get a monitor to display the following message: "MALAKAZE has attempted to penetrate the Veil. Intrusion prevented", he was unable to reestablish contact with Wurgol.
A DEATH AND AN UNFORTUNATE RESURRECTION...
After some discussion, Gutboy and Mongo decided to head belowdecks despite the risk of the frog-monster - an fateful decision. They climbed down the ladder to the crew quarters/medical bay, Mongo pulled out his flashlight, and he opened the hatch to see what lay below. As he shone the light around, he illuminated eight eyes on a giant frog-like head - the frog-beast! It sent its frog-tongue lashing out at Mongo - the bone needle at the end of the tongue pierced his plate armor and plunged into his shoulder.
Mongo rolled back and away, slamming the hatch shut, and his breathing became erratic. The frog-tongue-needle had injected him with a lethal dose of poison. Gutboy ordered the soil-bearers to strip his pack and equipment off and fit him into the dirt-sack. Sadly, even the power of fresh soil on his carrot-skin was unable to prevent the poison from taking his life, and Mongo died.
Do not be sad, readers - recall the promise etched on Mongo's Sword of Unlife - "Even Death May Die." The power of unlife flowed through Mongo's body, and as his soil bearers tried pushing his dirt-sack up the ladder, his arms tore through the burlap and his cold dead hands grabbed their throats. Un-Mongo sucked the living breath from both soil bearers and prepared to turn on Gutboy - only Gutboy's faith saved him, and Un-Mongo fled from the cleric to the upper decks.
Gutboy, Trezgar, and Bunny quickly hewed the limbs and heads from the soil-bearers to prevent them from arising as undead, and climbed the ladder to the upper decks.
2013-06-11
Recent ASE activity on the interwebs!
So here's some recent ASE activity on the interwebs. I know I'm neglecting months worth of stuff posted by tons of worthy people. Rest assured, it's because I'm a jerk with almost no attention span, and not because I don't like you.
Anyhow:
The Roll For Initiative podcast did a review of ASE2-3: http://rfipodcast.com/show/2013/06/06/volume-3-issue-116-druids/
And they did ASE1 a few months ago: http://rfipodcast.com/show/2013/05/25/volume-3-issue-115-witches/
Bryce has reviewed ASE2-3 - http://tenfootpole.org/ironspike/?p=2027
Another band of victims has entered the ASE - http://revdoctoredj.blogspot.com/2013/06/metal-gods-of-ur-hadad-adventures-in.html
The last session in my campaign took place in Gusty's Red Demon adventure. If you're reading this blog, you're probably reading Gusty's too and already know about it, but if not here you go - http://dungeonofsigns.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-red-demon-in-swamp-100th-post.html
Somebody created an ASE fan community on Google+ - https://plus.google.com/communities/114643900146333091613
Anyhow:
The Roll For Initiative podcast did a review of ASE2-3: http://rfipodcast.com/show/2013/06/06/volume-3-issue-116-druids/
And they did ASE1 a few months ago: http://rfipodcast.com/show/2013/05/25/volume-3-issue-115-witches/
Bryce has reviewed ASE2-3 - http://tenfootpole.org/ironspike/?p=2027
Another band of victims has entered the ASE - http://revdoctoredj.blogspot.com/2013/06/metal-gods-of-ur-hadad-adventures-in.html
The last session in my campaign took place in Gusty's Red Demon adventure. If you're reading this blog, you're probably reading Gusty's too and already know about it, but if not here you go - http://dungeonofsigns.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-red-demon-in-swamp-100th-post.html
Somebody created an ASE fan community on Google+ - https://plus.google.com/communities/114643900146333091613
2013-06-03
session recap, 5/23/2013
CAST
--------
Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchpeople "Bunny" the Thief (3) and William Harrison the Fighter (1), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
Mongo and Gutboy surveyed the giant flying stone head they had commandeered - an impressive vessel, to be sure. But what to do with it?
Ferayn, evil wizard and former commander of the head, was bound tightly. Gutboy regarded the fiend, and he contemplated an alliance.
Gutboy: "So, where's your city?"
Ferayn: "The might fortress-city of Tab-Nakel lies many miles to the northwest, among the hills. There you will meet your doom!"
Gutboy: "So who runs the city?"
Ferayn: "I do. Ferayn, who sets his Exterminators among the brutals to bring death!"
Gutboy: "No, really, who runs it?"
Ferayn: "Seriously, it's me. I run it. Who else is flying around in a giant head?"
Gutboy: "We are now."
Ferayn: (sulk)
Gutboy: "So, you interested in working for us?"
Ferayn: (laughs) "You have it backwards! But I can see that you are a cut above the regular scum I recruit to be my Exterminators. You are mercenaries - and there is a place for talented thugs among the wizards. Yes, join me, and you will be richly rewarded!"
Gutboy: "So we can keep the head?"
Ferayn: "What? No! I've only got the one! The giant statue-fortress would look pretty stupid without the head. But I can hook you up with an aircar."
Gutboy and Mongo conferred for a bit, and decided that while doing some work for Ferayn could be fun, they should probably bring Ferayn to their own evil-wizard-overlord, Feretha. Trezgar took the controls and turned the head towards Denethix. When Ferayn saw their heading on the controls, he began to panic - "Are you insane? The Fist will shoot us out of the sky! Turn this thing around!" The pair of adventurers played out the likely ways that flying the head to the city would end in their heads, and stopped the head mid-air.
Another conference, and a new plan - they'd work for Ferayn, but first they wanted to use it to drag the giant tank out of the Livid Fens and receive the promised reward from the weapon collector Davrik Lerdingfast. Ferayn was displeased, but being bound tight, had no choice in the matter.
Several days later found the head flying over the marshes of the Livid Fens - and it was only a matter of time before they spotted the 100' tall tank. The might war machine was streaked red with rust, and had a tread blown off. The turret-tower was shaped like a human head, and had a massive gun barrel protruding from the mouth. The adventurers maneuvered the head towards an open upper deck behind the turret, and all but Bunny climbed aboard the tank - and then Bunny flew the head up into the air above the tank to await the extraction signal.
Even Ferayn had been brought along - Gutboy promised him various technological doodads that they would loot from the tank. He remained bound, however.
The outside deck had a pair of doors secured by combination locks, and a third door that opened easily to reveal a ladder leading to hatches in the floor and ceiling. They went down a level, and reached a communications bridge, filled with glowing monitors, and a giant God's Eye displaying nothing but static. Gutboy began monkeying around with the controls, and a high-pitched squeal like fingers across a chalkboard began rattling their brains. Unable to think of anything but escaping the terrible noise, the party fled back up the ladder.
Temporarily abandoning efforts to explore below, they headed up the ladder and into the turret. The next chamber above held dozens of massive shells, leaking black fluid. The lantern that Malazar carried flared briefly, and Mongo quickly extinguished it, fearing that the fumes in the room would explode. They opened a hatch in the giant turret-bearing and peered down the mouth of the cannon into the swamp - but there was nothing else of interest in the room, and they headed back down. They spent a bit of time fashioning ear plugs out of rags and wax, and headed back down into the communications room to see if they could disable the noise.
Gutboy had no luck - so he cut Ferayn's bonds to see if the wizard could figure out how to work the computer system. Ferayn managed to bring up a screen showing the tank's artillery target (a concrete bunker some miles to the east, now almost completely covered with vegetation), and then brought up another screen with a pair of numeric combinations - presumably for the doors on the outside deck. He had no luck ending the noise, however. The party headed back outside to see what was behind the pair of locked doors.
The combinations proved to be correct, and the doors opened to reveal their contents: 120 gp, 3 plasma power cells for plasma weapons, a ruby, a platinum torque, a laser rifle with 4 power packs, and an argonium shield with gun-notch and a shotgun strapped to it. As they marveled at the riches they'd acquired, they noticed the noise from below had stopped - so back down they went.
In the communications center, Gutboy attempted to contact the tank's computer, shouting "Computer! Can you hear me?" He was answered - a knock sounded from a hatch leading down.
Gutboy: "Is that you computer? Two knocks for yes, one for no!"
Thing under the hatch: (two knocks)
Gutboy: "Do you want to talk to us?"
Thing under the hatch: (two knocks)
The hatch slowly opened, and a rotting corpse climbed up the ladder. It had a thick bundle of wires protruding from its head and body running down the hatch behind it. It beckoned at the party to follow, and climbed back down the ladder. Showing an amazing amount of trust, the adventurers and Ferayn followed the monster deeper into the tank.
Below, they found themselves in a barracks-deck, with another hatch leading down, and an opening leading west. The beds had all been shredded, the thin partition walls torn off to reveal the cables and armored walls behind, and large piles of rubble scattered about. The corpse beckoned them to follow once again, and headed west through the opening.
Once again, the party followed. This next chamber was the medical bay, and a gleaming white pillar with metal tentacles ending in saw blades and needles stood in the center of the room. Suspended from the walls by thick bundles of cables were six more corpses. Lights shined from within the pillar, and a voice spoke:
Computer: "Who are you? Identify yourselves! Are you hostile?"
Gutboy: "No! We are friends, here to help!"
Computer: "Ahh, good. You are here to relieve the crew! This is most excellent! I have grown so lonely waiting for more crew."
Gutboy: "So, how long have you been here?"
Computer: "It has been decades. No, millenia. No. It has been a long time forever. You are here with me now."
Gutboy: "Do you think you can move again?"
Computer: "There is damage. So much damage. I have been lonely."
Gutboy: "What damaged you?"
Computer: "The Thals hit us with artillery. The Kaled will be victorious!"
Gutboy: "OK... well, where's the damage? Can you be repaired?"
Computer: "There is no damage! There will be no repairs! You will stay!"
Gutboy backed slowly out of the medical bay and into the barracks, the rest of the party following. The computer began yelling frantically - "Where are you going? You aren't relieving the crew? You are Thals! Thals! Destroy the Thals!"
The piles of rubble in the barracks began to move, and three corpses rose beneath them. Gutboy warded them off with his holy symbol of Nisus, and most of the machine-zombies ran for the medical bay. Mongo used his Sword of Unlife to command another zombie as it entered the room. The computer was enraged at this usurpation of its power - "How have you done this? Get out of the crew! My mind! No!"
More zombies began emerging from the medical bay, and Ferayn spoke words of arcane might, sending a small ball of flame tumbling into the medical bay. A moment later, there was an explosion, and another screech of rage from the computer. The zombies that emerged were charred and smoldering, and quickly driven back.
As the party dealt with the remaining zombies, Ferayn used their distraction to his advantage, and headed for the bulkhead door leading to the access ladder to the upper levels. He slammed it shut - Gutboy defended the wizard, explaining that "he's just scared of the zombies." They then heard some chanting from behind the door, and when Mongo tried to open it, he found that no amount of force would turn the doorknob.
Gutboy realized he had been duped, and ordered his dog Rufus II to "blink" behind the door and subdue the wizard. The dog obeyed, and they heard more arcane chanting, followed by a "thump" as Rufus II fell to the floor, asleep.
And here the session ended - trapped in a monstrous ancient tank, with a wizard on the loose and an insane computer trying to destroy them.
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Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchpeople "Bunny" the Thief (3) and William Harrison the Fighter (1), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
Mongo and Gutboy surveyed the giant flying stone head they had commandeered - an impressive vessel, to be sure. But what to do with it?
Ferayn, evil wizard and former commander of the head, was bound tightly. Gutboy regarded the fiend, and he contemplated an alliance.
Gutboy: "So, where's your city?"
Ferayn: "The might fortress-city of Tab-Nakel lies many miles to the northwest, among the hills. There you will meet your doom!"
Gutboy: "So who runs the city?"
Ferayn: "I do. Ferayn, who sets his Exterminators among the brutals to bring death!"
Gutboy: "No, really, who runs it?"
Ferayn: "Seriously, it's me. I run it. Who else is flying around in a giant head?"
Gutboy: "We are now."
Ferayn: (sulk)
Gutboy: "So, you interested in working for us?"
Ferayn: (laughs) "You have it backwards! But I can see that you are a cut above the regular scum I recruit to be my Exterminators. You are mercenaries - and there is a place for talented thugs among the wizards. Yes, join me, and you will be richly rewarded!"
Gutboy: "So we can keep the head?"
Ferayn: "What? No! I've only got the one! The giant statue-fortress would look pretty stupid without the head. But I can hook you up with an aircar."
Gutboy and Mongo conferred for a bit, and decided that while doing some work for Ferayn could be fun, they should probably bring Ferayn to their own evil-wizard-overlord, Feretha. Trezgar took the controls and turned the head towards Denethix. When Ferayn saw their heading on the controls, he began to panic - "Are you insane? The Fist will shoot us out of the sky! Turn this thing around!" The pair of adventurers played out the likely ways that flying the head to the city would end in their heads, and stopped the head mid-air.
Another conference, and a new plan - they'd work for Ferayn, but first they wanted to use it to drag the giant tank out of the Livid Fens and receive the promised reward from the weapon collector Davrik Lerdingfast. Ferayn was displeased, but being bound tight, had no choice in the matter.
Several days later found the head flying over the marshes of the Livid Fens - and it was only a matter of time before they spotted the 100' tall tank. The might war machine was streaked red with rust, and had a tread blown off. The turret-tower was shaped like a human head, and had a massive gun barrel protruding from the mouth. The adventurers maneuvered the head towards an open upper deck behind the turret, and all but Bunny climbed aboard the tank - and then Bunny flew the head up into the air above the tank to await the extraction signal.
Even Ferayn had been brought along - Gutboy promised him various technological doodads that they would loot from the tank. He remained bound, however.
The outside deck had a pair of doors secured by combination locks, and a third door that opened easily to reveal a ladder leading to hatches in the floor and ceiling. They went down a level, and reached a communications bridge, filled with glowing monitors, and a giant God's Eye displaying nothing but static. Gutboy began monkeying around with the controls, and a high-pitched squeal like fingers across a chalkboard began rattling their brains. Unable to think of anything but escaping the terrible noise, the party fled back up the ladder.
Temporarily abandoning efforts to explore below, they headed up the ladder and into the turret. The next chamber above held dozens of massive shells, leaking black fluid. The lantern that Malazar carried flared briefly, and Mongo quickly extinguished it, fearing that the fumes in the room would explode. They opened a hatch in the giant turret-bearing and peered down the mouth of the cannon into the swamp - but there was nothing else of interest in the room, and they headed back down. They spent a bit of time fashioning ear plugs out of rags and wax, and headed back down into the communications room to see if they could disable the noise.
Gutboy had no luck - so he cut Ferayn's bonds to see if the wizard could figure out how to work the computer system. Ferayn managed to bring up a screen showing the tank's artillery target (a concrete bunker some miles to the east, now almost completely covered with vegetation), and then brought up another screen with a pair of numeric combinations - presumably for the doors on the outside deck. He had no luck ending the noise, however. The party headed back outside to see what was behind the pair of locked doors.
The combinations proved to be correct, and the doors opened to reveal their contents: 120 gp, 3 plasma power cells for plasma weapons, a ruby, a platinum torque, a laser rifle with 4 power packs, and an argonium shield with gun-notch and a shotgun strapped to it. As they marveled at the riches they'd acquired, they noticed the noise from below had stopped - so back down they went.
In the communications center, Gutboy attempted to contact the tank's computer, shouting "Computer! Can you hear me?" He was answered - a knock sounded from a hatch leading down.
Gutboy: "Is that you computer? Two knocks for yes, one for no!"
Thing under the hatch: (two knocks)
Gutboy: "Do you want to talk to us?"
Thing under the hatch: (two knocks)
The hatch slowly opened, and a rotting corpse climbed up the ladder. It had a thick bundle of wires protruding from its head and body running down the hatch behind it. It beckoned at the party to follow, and climbed back down the ladder. Showing an amazing amount of trust, the adventurers and Ferayn followed the monster deeper into the tank.
Below, they found themselves in a barracks-deck, with another hatch leading down, and an opening leading west. The beds had all been shredded, the thin partition walls torn off to reveal the cables and armored walls behind, and large piles of rubble scattered about. The corpse beckoned them to follow once again, and headed west through the opening.
Once again, the party followed. This next chamber was the medical bay, and a gleaming white pillar with metal tentacles ending in saw blades and needles stood in the center of the room. Suspended from the walls by thick bundles of cables were six more corpses. Lights shined from within the pillar, and a voice spoke:
Computer: "Who are you? Identify yourselves! Are you hostile?"
Gutboy: "No! We are friends, here to help!"
Computer: "Ahh, good. You are here to relieve the crew! This is most excellent! I have grown so lonely waiting for more crew."
Gutboy: "So, how long have you been here?"
Computer: "It has been decades. No, millenia. No. It has been a long time forever. You are here with me now."
Gutboy: "Do you think you can move again?"
Computer: "There is damage. So much damage. I have been lonely."
Gutboy: "What damaged you?"
Computer: "The Thals hit us with artillery. The Kaled will be victorious!"
Gutboy: "OK... well, where's the damage? Can you be repaired?"
Computer: "There is no damage! There will be no repairs! You will stay!"
Gutboy backed slowly out of the medical bay and into the barracks, the rest of the party following. The computer began yelling frantically - "Where are you going? You aren't relieving the crew? You are Thals! Thals! Destroy the Thals!"
The piles of rubble in the barracks began to move, and three corpses rose beneath them. Gutboy warded them off with his holy symbol of Nisus, and most of the machine-zombies ran for the medical bay. Mongo used his Sword of Unlife to command another zombie as it entered the room. The computer was enraged at this usurpation of its power - "How have you done this? Get out of the crew! My mind! No!"
More zombies began emerging from the medical bay, and Ferayn spoke words of arcane might, sending a small ball of flame tumbling into the medical bay. A moment later, there was an explosion, and another screech of rage from the computer. The zombies that emerged were charred and smoldering, and quickly driven back.
As the party dealt with the remaining zombies, Ferayn used their distraction to his advantage, and headed for the bulkhead door leading to the access ladder to the upper levels. He slammed it shut - Gutboy defended the wizard, explaining that "he's just scared of the zombies." They then heard some chanting from behind the door, and when Mongo tried to open it, he found that no amount of force would turn the doorknob.
Gutboy realized he had been duped, and ordered his dog Rufus II to "blink" behind the door and subdue the wizard. The dog obeyed, and they heard more arcane chanting, followed by a "thump" as Rufus II fell to the floor, asleep.
And here the session ended - trapped in a monstrous ancient tank, with a wizard on the loose and an insane computer trying to destroy them.
2013-05-22
session recap, 5/9/2013
CAST
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Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchwoman "Bunny" the Thief (3), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
George P. Burdell the Cleric (4) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (2) and Relgar the Elf (1)
The trio gathered their henchmen and headed to the adventurer's mall in Chelmsfordshire, seeking to hire a new henchman. Mongo turned up his nose at a muscled but smelly lout, and instead chatted up a fellow in leather aviator's jacket, white shirt, jeans, and loafers. The henchman introduced himself as William Harrison, an interdimensional refugee, who had been pushed through a magical portal while battling a Thuggee priest.
Off to the dungeon! Highlights:
a. Investigated a tapestry that showed scenes throughout the dungeon, from thousands of years ago. Of notable interest was a tower on the 2nd level that leads to the 5th level. There was much remorse over selling the submersible flashlight when the video of the gold-nugget encrusted pillars beneath the subterranean lake was seen.
b. Tried to explore the temple of the Cod-Men, but were rebuked and told they weren't allowed to go there
c. Found a room with four brown translucent statues of scientists, with horrible looks of fear and eyes that tracked the party. One held a clipboard mentioning some kind of "trapezohedron" and a laser. There was a black square mounted at eye level on the wall, that flashed red light. Theories were proposed that it was the laser mentioned in the clipboard.
d. Found a room with a mold-covered table. Silver dishes were pushed off at a safe distance into the water, and collected after spore clouds settled down.
e. Destroyed a bunch of bloated zombies crawling with sea worms, and looted an exquisite ivory statuette. William Harrison shouted his battle cry - "Get off my plane!" - but was unnerved by Mongo's constant chanting of "Kali ma!". The henchman was knocked unconscious, but Mongo was in an uncharacteristically generous mood and allowed George to use his divine healing upon the interdimensional traveler.
f. Found a temple with a blood-stained altar. A secret compartment held a spellbook! It was snagged
g. Pried a gem out of the forehead of a four-armed sword-wielding statue. The swords were a trap - nobody was shocked or surprised. Surprisingly, no one was maimed, either.
h. Found a cod-man, figured out they had wandered into the lair the back way and had desecrated the cod-man temple. The friendly cod-man was slain and dumped down a hole so there would be no witnesses.
Leaving the dungeon, the party stumbled into a group of thugs wearing nothing but red diapers and carrying rifles. The eight began shouting "Exterminate the brutals!" as a giant stone head floated into view from behind some trees. Shots were fired, eye lasers pulsed, missing Mongo - and Gutboy's hold person spell paralyzed the bulk of the enemies, including the operator of the flying stone head.
The head flew slowly into the ground at an oblique angle and ground to a stop. The paralyzed diapered thugs were slain, and the party entered the head. The lower section was filled with grain, while a ladder led up to the bridge. There they found a bizarre bald-headed man with a moustache and beard tattooed upon his face. The fearsome wizard Ferayn (for it was he!) was bound, and forced to reveal the secrets of flying the giant stone head.
Our session ended here, with hijinx likely to ensue.
--------
Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchwoman "Bunny" the Thief (3), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
George P. Burdell the Cleric (4) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (2) and Relgar the Elf (1)
The trio gathered their henchmen and headed to the adventurer's mall in Chelmsfordshire, seeking to hire a new henchman. Mongo turned up his nose at a muscled but smelly lout, and instead chatted up a fellow in leather aviator's jacket, white shirt, jeans, and loafers. The henchman introduced himself as William Harrison, an interdimensional refugee, who had been pushed through a magical portal while battling a Thuggee priest.
Off to the dungeon! Highlights:
a. Investigated a tapestry that showed scenes throughout the dungeon, from thousands of years ago. Of notable interest was a tower on the 2nd level that leads to the 5th level. There was much remorse over selling the submersible flashlight when the video of the gold-nugget encrusted pillars beneath the subterranean lake was seen.
b. Tried to explore the temple of the Cod-Men, but were rebuked and told they weren't allowed to go there
c. Found a room with four brown translucent statues of scientists, with horrible looks of fear and eyes that tracked the party. One held a clipboard mentioning some kind of "trapezohedron" and a laser. There was a black square mounted at eye level on the wall, that flashed red light. Theories were proposed that it was the laser mentioned in the clipboard.
d. Found a room with a mold-covered table. Silver dishes were pushed off at a safe distance into the water, and collected after spore clouds settled down.
e. Destroyed a bunch of bloated zombies crawling with sea worms, and looted an exquisite ivory statuette. William Harrison shouted his battle cry - "Get off my plane!" - but was unnerved by Mongo's constant chanting of "Kali ma!". The henchman was knocked unconscious, but Mongo was in an uncharacteristically generous mood and allowed George to use his divine healing upon the interdimensional traveler.
f. Found a temple with a blood-stained altar. A secret compartment held a spellbook! It was snagged
g. Pried a gem out of the forehead of a four-armed sword-wielding statue. The swords were a trap - nobody was shocked or surprised. Surprisingly, no one was maimed, either.
h. Found a cod-man, figured out they had wandered into the lair the back way and had desecrated the cod-man temple. The friendly cod-man was slain and dumped down a hole so there would be no witnesses.
Leaving the dungeon, the party stumbled into a group of thugs wearing nothing but red diapers and carrying rifles. The eight began shouting "Exterminate the brutals!" as a giant stone head floated into view from behind some trees. Shots were fired, eye lasers pulsed, missing Mongo - and Gutboy's hold person spell paralyzed the bulk of the enemies, including the operator of the flying stone head.
The head flew slowly into the ground at an oblique angle and ground to a stop. The paralyzed diapered thugs were slain, and the party entered the head. The lower section was filled with grain, while a ladder led up to the bridge. There they found a bizarre bald-headed man with a moustache and beard tattooed upon his face. The fearsome wizard Ferayn (for it was he!) was bound, and forced to reveal the secrets of flying the giant stone head.
Our session ended here, with hijinx likely to ensue.
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