session recap, 4/9/2013

Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchwoman "Bunny" the Thief (3), and his soil-bearers Malazar and someone whose name I have forgotten
Gutboy the Cleric (5), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
George P. Burdell the Cleric (4) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (2) and Relgar the Elf (1)

The party stood about the magical fountain room on the third level.  Continuity errors are possible - I have no idea if they made it back to the city or not the last time.  Whatever.  They were probably headed back here anyways. So, in the dungeon:

The party began a careful survey of the oddly shaped fountain room, and discovered patterns in the map that suggested a secret door to the south. There were manipulations of a nymph sculpted into the southern wall, and lo and behold, a secret door did in fact open.

Beyond, they found a room with tattered, colorless tapestries, and a magnificent set of armor upon a display stand.  The armor was covered with gold filigree and dotted with emeralds - this was easily the most valuable treasure they had yet come across within the dungeon.  Another passage led to a dusty room with a spiral staircase leading down into the depths.  The decision was made to continue exploring the third level, rather than risk the dangers lying below.

Heading out of the fountain room complex, they struck off down some unexplored corridors and came across a corpse floating in a flooded room.  The body was bloated, and wore a red zippered jack, black leather pants, black fedora, and a single white sequined glove (which George quickly pocketed). Searching the jacket revealed a laminated card with the following instructions: "Go up stairs to room with eight exits. Take southwest exit. Don’t disturb anything, it’s all trapped. Eventually reach room with two northwest corridors, take the left corridor. Past the room full of purple spikes is the Tomb of Metal."

Ahh - a goal!  Gutboy vociferously argued the merits of seeking the treasure, seeing as it was on the far safer second level. There was little confidence in heading deeper without Razoe to assist with combat, so the decision was made - to the Tomb of Metal!

Along the way, the party defeated a stony camouflaged creature laying across a staircase, and then met a group of humanoids with black smoke pouring from sores in their skin - they identified themselves as Dark Smokers, merchants from Bartertown on the fourth level.  Negotiations were made, and the party let the Smokers copy their dungeon maps (with routes leading to the surface world) in exchange for a 300 gp blue pearl.  The Smokers also told the party how to reach both Bartertown and the fifth level, by passing through an outpost of the Hinge-Headed - but they would need a pass from the Hinge-Headed to do so.

They bid the Dark Smokers adieu, and headed up, fighting a trio of aerial jellyfish encountered on the way.  Once they reached the pit of purple crystals, they were left with a conundrum - how to get across.  Eventually they decided on knocking the pins from the hinges from a few of the wooden doors in the dungeon, and laying them across the crystals - the points of the crystal spikes should sink into the wood a bit and hold the doors in place.

Noisy dungeon deconstruction began - and attracted unwanted attention.  An 8' tall naked clown charged into the room, holding a massive tankard of liquor and a poisonous snake.  He shouted "I FINALLY FOUND YOU! DIE, THIEVES!" and rushed the party.  Sadly, Fat Grundle lost initiative - Gutboy's magic paralyzed the giant clown, while Relgar put the pit viper to sleep with his elven necromancy.  The clown was then slain and disemboweled - but all they found inside was the semi-dissolved skull of Netal the Elf blocking the clown's large intestine.  It was taken as a grim memento of their fallen comrade.

The plan to cross the pit of purple crystals with dungeon doors was successful.  Beyond, they fought off a trio of drum-bodied robots and played Smoke on the Water to open the entrance to the Tomb of Metal.  Inside the Tomb were seven statues, which were quickly identified by Mongo as rock'n'roll stars from millenia ago.  As he named them one by one, a pink glow surrounded him, and with the last naming a giant skeleton in spiked armor appeared, proclaiming "You are worthyyyyyy..."  Lightning danced around the illiterate fighter as he chose to increase his already prodigious Strength with the power of Metal.

Some side rooms were investigated, and another musical puzzle was solved, causing a secret door to slide open.  Past the door, down a few more stairs, and a sarcophagus was found - inside, a skeleton with a gold-and-lapis-lazuli death mask gripped a mighty chrome battle axe with a four-stringed haft.  Shockingly, the skeleton didn't rise up and attack, and the tomb was looted safely.

Gutboy grew obsessed with the notion of taking one of the drum robots back to town to sell to Davrik Lerdingfast. The weight and hassle of carrying the robot slowed the party down as they left the dungeon and wandered through the wilderness, leading to the following encounters:

- Ten Painted Men
- Nine Flying Vampiric Piranhas
- 6 Moktars
- Another Moktar war-band, heard at a distance and avoided
- 7 buffoonish farmers' sons, looking for the city slickers that done run off with their sisters

Bruised and battered, they made it back to Denethix without any casualties, marking this as the most successful session to date.  A quick visit to Frondgar the elven sage revealed that the sequined glove had the power to make all onlookers dance uncontrollably for as long the wearer danced, and the axe was the mighty Metal Axe of legend - in the hands of a trained fighter/musician, and with the proper songs learned, its metal tones had potent magical powers.

Gains: jeweled plate mail (4500 gp), the King of Pop's ruined clothing, gloves of mesmeric dancing, blue pearl (300 gp), Netal's half-digested skull, increased Strength for Mongo, gold-and-lapis-lazuli death mask (1500 gp), the Metal Axe
Kills: stair constrictor, 3 aerial jellyfish, Fat Grundle, pit viper, 3 drum automatons, 10 painted men, 9 flying vampiric piranha, 6 moktars, 7 farmers' sons
Losses: none


  1. You must have some very cooperative players if you can post a session recap six days before you play. Hope the dice follow the script.

    1. I have consulted many oracles and offered much of my wealth in sacrifice, and they all predict the same game session.

    2. You paid for the money-back guarantee, right?

  2. I don't know what sort of heartless players that wouldn't pony up the gold to resurrect the king of pop, rock and soul...


  3. I can't find the statistics for "Farmer's Sons" anywhere in the monster manuals. Are they some kind of Sons of Kyuss?

    It's great to see your game is still going, that there has been vengeance for Netal and that the tomb of metal can be breached.

    1. Still going, but it's been a pain in the butt getting people together - Netal/Razoe's player is an employee for a well-known MMO company, and they've been working him like a dog lately for some beta release. So anytime a second player can't make it, it all falls apart.

      And yes, Farmers' Sons are exactly like the Sons of Kyuss, only with overalls.

    2. I was just really happy to see something from the "Good Ol' Rural Violence" table pop up. I got the nasty halfling hill people the first time my party decided to head out of Denethix in my old home campaign. Halflings promising to go Deliverance on the party are terrifying.