Netal the Elf (2), and his slave Roger the Fighter
Mongo the Fighter (2), and his henchmen Leroy Brown the Cleric and Lorgar the Elf
Mongo awoke from a fine night's sleep, and decided to consult his decidedly evil book, because what harm could come of that? He flipped it open, and viewed the comics within - they depicted Mongo cutting the heads off his neighbors Chrissie and Janet, and mounting them on spikes. The stick figure Mongo was rewarded with a pair of sandwiches. Disappointed, Mongo flipped the page - and it was revealed that the sandwiches were made of solid gold, probably worth 2,000 gp combined. Mongo began hatching a murderous plan, involving a picnic basket, and resolved he should carry his book around everywhere with him, so he could always get sound advice on what to do next.
The day continued, as it often does, with a search for new henchmen. Netal, ever pragmatic, decided purchasing a henchman was much more efficient than an extended interview process, and so headed to the Street of Tormented Flesh. He accosted a green-masked slaver in the street:
Netal: "I'm looking to buy a slave"
Slaver: "Of course you are! A pleasure slave, perhaps?"
Netal: "I need someone who can open doors."
Slaver: "Right... you're going to need to be more specific. Young, old, male, female?"
Netal: "Someone young. Male."
Slaver: "Ahh! I was right! A pleasure slave!"
Netal: "No, someone who's strong, and likes adventure."
Slaver: "Now I'm not following you"
Netal: "How about one of those pit fighters?"
Slaver: "That I can do! What rank are you looking for? I have many newly trained, unranked fighters, or perhaps a second-tier fighter?"
Netal: "How much?"
Slaver: "My first ranks are only 150 gp. 1000 gp will get you a second rank... and I see by the look on your face I needn't go any further."
Netal: "Let's take a look at your first ranks"
The slaver led Netal to a basement "stable", with a half-dozen barred cells. Most of the pit fighters within snarled nastily at Netal, shouting obscenities until they were beaten into quietude. One lad, however, seemed somewhat chipper.
Slave: "Oh, hello there! I'm quite looking forward to actually getting out of this cell and doing something. Didn't think it would be quite so nasty when I sold myself, but the family certainly needed the money!"
Netal: "What's his name?"
Slaver: "Your choice. We beat the names out of them during training. He doesn't have any rank in the pits yet, so you get to choose"
Netal: (dead silence for quite some time)
Slaver: "Sir? Are you feeling all right?"
Netal: "I'm trying to think of a name. Roger."
Slaver: "An excellent choice. That'll be 150 gp."
A quick trip to the Bazaar Incomparable was taken, and Roger was equipped with a two-handed sword and some armor.
Mongo also keenly felt the loss of Jimgar, and decided to hire a replacement elf. He wandered the bars of the Street of the Alien, and eventually came across a goateed young elf who expressed an interest in the adventuring life.
Mongo: "Anybody want adventure?"
Lorgar (stroking his goatee): "Good sir! Does this involve crawling into deep holes far underground?"
Mongo: "Yes! Lots of deep holes!"
Lorgar: "That's absolutely fantastic! I've been looking for just such an opportunity to explore dangerous caves for little to no pay!"
Mongo: "You're hired! Do you know spells?"
Lorgar: "Of course! I am a master of the arcane energies that are more commonly called 'magic missiles'"
Mongo: "Great! What's your name?"
Lorgar: "I am Lorgar"
Mongo: "What's with the gar? And why doesn't Netal's name end with gar?"
Lorgar: "That is odd. Netal, you say? Strange name. His parents must not have liked him."
More shopping commended, and Lorgar was equipped with sword and armor, and Mongo found a picnic basket salesman. The hiring and purchasing completed, Netal, Mongo, and their retinue headed into the wilderness towards Mt. Rendon and the dungeon.
As they climbed the slopes of Mt. Rendon, they came around an outcropping of rock and were dismayed to find a clearing, with a gigantic floating stone head in it, 20' tall. In front of the stone head stood a robed man with a beard and moustache drawn in ink upon his hairless face. He was directing a group of nearly a dozen men in red diapers, armed with rifles. The robed man, clearly a wizard, shouted "Who is this who dares interrupt me?"
Netal and Mongo responded by running away as fast as they could, their crew bravely running behind in abject panic. The wizard and his henchmen did not pursue - and after an hour or so the stone head was seen in the sky, flying away from the mountain. The party cautiously made their way up to the dungeon, taking a different route, and avoided any further danger.
Once in the dungeon, Mongo and Netal examined their map of level 1, and began systematically exploring the few unmapped areas. They noticed the letters "EEE" painted on the walls in a few spots. Mongo asked the henchmen if they had any idea what that meant, and Lorgar piped up - it stood for "Excellent Elven Edventurers," an adventuring company recently put together by an elf named Slezgar. Mongo recognized the name - it was one of Gutboy's former henchmen, who had quit a few months ago.
During this anal-retentive mapping, they ran into some strange sponge-bodied multilegged horned monsters, that gored Leroy and Mongo. Leroy prayed for healing, and his wounds miraculously closed up. The party then holed up in a room overnight, spiking the door shut, so that Leroy could meditate and regain his ability to access divine powers. The night was frightful, with creatures scratching at the doors all night, and eventually a party of morlocks forced their way in - but they recognized Mongo.
Mongo: "What you doing here?"
Mongo: "Stuff? Huh. Can I help?"
Morlocks: "No, we got it"
Mongo: "Can I visit your home some time?"
Morlocks: "No, no, we're busy. Very busy."
Mongo: "You guys are always busy. What are you doing?"
Mongo: "Do you know about the EEE sign?"
Morlocks: "Oh yeah, other not-mongos. They make sign."
Mongo: "Did you eat them?"
Morlocks: "Maybe... maybe not..."
Mongo: "Because it's OK if you did"
Morlocks: "Well we go now. Take yummy people with us?"
Mongo: "No! Maybe later. Pigs."
Morlocks: "OK, bye"
This exchange over, the party moved to a different room, and barricaded themselves within. The scratchings at the door continued, along with occasional voices - and eventually the door was beaten down once again by the morlocks.
Morlocks: "You here too?"
Mongo: "Yes, we rest here"
Morlocks: "OK, bye. Leave mark or something, we not bother you."
The party did eventually make it through the night, with Leroy having regained his divinely-inspired healing ability. He immediately used it on Mongo, and the party explored some new territory in the southwest corner of the dungeon. Beyond a door they found a room that opened onto an abyss, the bottom far below in the darkness. A bridge of strange gray shell-strips, tied by leather to stainless steel wire, extended over the abyss. The party carefully made their way to the other side, and there was another tunnel beyond, which led to a long flight of stairs leading deeper into the dungeon.
At the bottom of the stairs they entered a 50'x50' room, with eight exits. The room was full of filth, and covered with foot prints. Mongo consulted his book of profound evil, and the pictures within revealed a stick figure Mongo mounting the heads of Chrissie, Janet, Jack, the Ropers, Leroy, and Lorgar around the room. The stick figure Mongo was rewarded with a sense of a job well done, apparently, as he proudly surveyed the carnage - this wasn't nearly enough to tempt Mongo into mass murder, however.
Netal randomly chose the southwest corridor, and the party entered a damp room, with a leak in the ceiling dripping filthy water into a dirty puddle on the floor. There was a door on the opposite side of the room. Mongo made his way around the puddle, but as he did so a horrible thing of gray slime swept forth from the puddle, slapping at Mongo's armored chest with a pseudopod.
The party surrounded the creature, hacking away with swords, and eventually cut it to ribbons - but Mongo's armor was bubbling and dissolving away. The creature's pseudopod had left an acidic slime that was rapidly destroying the plate. Mongo stripped it off as fast as he could. Feeling vulnerable, Mongo and Netal decided to evacuate the dungeon and re-equip.