Mongo the Fighter (4), his henchpersons "Bunny" the Thief (1) and William the Sentinel (1), and his soil-bearer Malazar
Gutboy the Cleric (4), his henchman Trezgar the Elf (1) and his blink dog Rufus II
George P. Burdell the Cleric (3) and his henchmen, Slick Eddie the Thief (2) and Seegar the Elf (1), and his dog
Razoe the Fantra Paladin (3) and his henchman Skwisgar the Elf(1)
Back in town, the crew gathered together, reviewed their maps, and came up with a plan. Scissors were taken to the multiple pages of maps, adhesive was used to glue it all together, and then it was reconciled with the map they found in a secret room on the 3rd level. Shockingly, conclusions were drawn and navigation decisions were made - next stop, Goblin Lair!
They passed through the Cod-Man lair with a stern admonition from Chief Pyceen to finish off the goblins on their behalf. Ever willing to oblige, the party followed their map down the wide flooded halls - and were stunned to see a pair of glowing green fins parting the water, heading towards their flank.
The pair of rather flat 12' long glowing sharks had horns growing out of their heads - and attempted to both stab and bite Mongo and Razoe. Rufus the Blink Dog blinked in and out of combat, and the sharks were quickly dispatched. Razoe gutted them in hopes of treasure - but found only an old license plate and a cod-man arm.
They soon reached the archway that led to the alleged goblin lair - walking through, a half-dozen machines sprang from the water. They were discs on tripods, with hoses dangling from their undersides, and nozzles atop them. The machines shouted "Alert! Commence cleaning! Filthy humanoids present!" and blasted high-pressure streams of water at Mongo and Razoe. Another quick fight and the machines were dispatched - but had the noise alerted the goblins beyond?
The answer was "yes" - the party opened the door beyond the archway, and saw dozens of goblins standing still and silent, with a 6' tall big-headed goblin in silver robes behind them. The party shrieked in absolute fear and ran for their lives.
As they ran, Skwisgar turned around and tackled Razoe - who began screaming for the rest of the party to stop and help him. Reluctantly, the group stopped and turned to face the goblin horde. Many sleep and hold person spells were cast, Trezgar screamed about something trying to get into his mind, and the party prevailed. The ensorcelled goblins were slain, a laser pistol was taken from the tall goblin's body, and Skwisgar was beaten into unconsciousness and tied up tightly. Razoe also inappropriately used his one-shot commune spell in an attempt to convince Kiod to help him escape - nevermind that Kiod both hated him now, and that he would simply answer 3 yes/no questions.
The noise of the battle had attracted visitors - a half dozen cavemen being driven on by a pair of tall fellows wearing robes and with eyeless metal cylinders over their heads. The cylinder-headed men introduced themselves as the Hinge-Headed, and they congratulated the party on defeating the goblins. A few questions were exchanged, notes were taken by the metal-headed pair, and they wandered back off into the dungeon peacefully.
With the goblin menace slaughtered, the party headed into the lair proper. They found a large group of boxes, that the communion with Kiod informed Razoe were both dangerous and had nothing valuable inside. They also found some fungus that smelled like cherries, and was "safe", per Kiod. Razoe gathered up two mouthfuls of the fragrant brown fungus.
A transporter disk was found - when items were placed on it, and a button pressed, they disappeared, it was guessed to somewhere else within the dungeon. A short debate about dumping Skwisgar on it ensued - but for purposes of henchman morale it was decided to keep him.
Finally, they found a room with an egg-shaped chair, with a bowl of gems sitting next to it. Rotating it caused a secret door to open - at which point Trezgar turned on Gutboy with murder in his eyes. George convinced his elf employee Seegar to cast "sleep" upon both himself and Trezgar rather than succumb to the elf-infecting madness of the dungeon, and both elves collapsed. Inside the secret room, they found a giant jar with a huge brain floating in it, and another one of the tall robed goblins - it was slain as soon as it was spotted.
Suddenly a voice rang out from one of the machines connected to the jar:
Brain: Thank you for rescuing me!
Gutboy: Rescue you? What are you?
Brain: I was once human like you! Those monsters stole my body!
Mongo: Let's smash this thing
Brain: No! I can help you! Don't!
Not believing the brain's pitiful ruse, the party quickly deduced that it was controlling the goblins. Razoe ransacked a metal cabinet, finding gold, a potion bottle, a green crystal skull, a broken laser rifle, and a wristwatch with a blank face. A Q&A session with the brain followed:
Q: What's this potion bottle?
A: That contains a healing elixir
Q: Where are those goblins outside heading to? Are they going to Chelmsfordshire?
A: They seek more goblins to attend to me! Join me, together we can rule the dungeon!
Q: What does this wrist band do?
A: That is a wrist replicator. It can make any object you desire, just put it on and ask it. I use it to make laser weapons.
Q: How do we get to the lower levels?
A: (various directions presented)
Q: Do the Hinge-Headed have any weaknesses?
A: Arrogance! Also, to destroy them, you must destroy their mind crystals
Gains: laser pistol, funky silvery goblin clothing, 1,430 gp worth of gems, broken laser rifle, green crystal skull, 500 gp, potion of healing, wrist replicator, 2 mouthfuls of cherry-scented fungus
Kills: 2 subterranean sharks, 6 pressure washers, 30 goblins, 2 tall goblins
Losses: nothing, what's up with that?