Fat Grundle

81. Fat Grundle
The iron-bound oak door to this room has three rotten heads attached to it, each spiked through the mouth:  a troglodyte, a painted man, and a necromantic midget (which, in its state of decay, is easy to mistake for a child’s head).  The thick door is barred from the inside, and will take two turns to chop through.

Inside lives Fat Grundle (AC 6, HD 5, hp 18, #AT 1, D 1d10 (or 1d8 fire), MV (30’), Save F5, ML 8), a grotesquely oversized painted man, 9’ tall and weighing five hundred pounds.  His teeth rotted away long ago, and he has been fitted with steel replacements by Dr. Giggles.

Fat Grundle eschews clothes, preferring to fight naked – his ghost-white skin is as hard as boiled leather, and he sees no need for armor.  He wears a pit viper (AC 6, HD 2, hp 5, #AT 1, D 1d4 + poison, MV (30’), Save F1, ML 7) around his neck, and will toss it at opponents before wading into battle, swinging his great iron jug like a club (for 1d10 points of damage).

The rot-gut in Fat Grundle’s jug is highly flammable, and he may (25% chance per round) decide to take a swig and spew out flaming liquid at a single opponent (on a successful hit, the victim will 1d8 points of damage the first round and 1d8 more the second round).  He lights the booze by gnashing his metal teeth and creating sparks.

Fat Grundle is a mercenary, working for whoever will pay his price (100 gp per combat, or a barrel of booze).  He has nailed heads representing the three factions of the level to his door as a gruesome display of his neutrality.

The gigantic clown spends much of his time drunk or hung-over.  Consult the following table to determine Fat Grundle’s disposition.

Fat Grundle’s Sobriety
Roll 1d8 on the table below to determine Fat Grundle’s state of mind.
1.	Passed out.  No amount of noise will wake Fat Grundle for another 1d4 hours.
2-5.	Drunk off his gourd.  Fat Grundle is at -2 to attacks, but players receive a -1 bonus to reaction rolls.
6-7.	Hungover.  Players receive +1 penalty to reaction rolls.
8.	Inexplicably sober.

Should players approach with offers of booze, they will gain a -1 bonus to reaction rolls, in addition to any other modifiers listed above.

Fat Grundle keeps few belongings other than his snake and jug.  There is a wooden tub filled with fermenting molds, stinking of unwashed feet – hidden under the thick layer of scum in the tub are his collected savings, 652 gp.