session recap, 7/27/2014

Gutboy the Cleric (6), his henchpeople Trezgar the Elf (3) and Bunny the Thief (3), and his blink dog Rufus II
Pai Mei the Wu-Jen (4), and his henchmen "The Doctor" the Time Lord (2) and Paula Abdul the Battle Dancer (2)
Rolf the Dwarf (3), and his henchman Piston Honda the Sumo (2)
Simon the Halfling (3), and his henchmen the Unnamed Mariner (2) and Roger the Halfling Guardian (2)

Back in Denethix, Pai Mei once again sought out some hired help that he could leave to die in a dungeon.  Interviewees:

- A snickering man in plate mail, promptly called out as an anti-paladin and told to take a hike
- Skeletor the Death Master, rejected on the grounds that he couldn't contribute any meaningful firepower
- Walter White the Alchemist, rejected on the same grounds
- Paula Abdul the Battle Dancer, hired!

Skeletor, Walter White, and the anti-paladin stormed off angrily, vowing to form their own adventuring party.

While Pai Mei did his hiring, Gutboy interrogated the hinge-headed mind crystals.  They identified themselves as a staff sergeant and two sub-corporals, and demands angrily that they be returned to the hinge-headed outpost.  Gutboy used his persuasive skills to try to drive a wedge between the sergeant and his underlings, but no opportunity came up to exploit this division.

The party headed off to the dungeon.  Only a short recap here:

a. The cod-men had left a sign outside the 3rd level entrance, demanding 50 gp per adventurer.  They were bemused that there was no one to actually collect at the gates to the dungeon, and tossed the sign into the woods.   The cod-men toll collectors were positioned a few rooms in, and let the "Mongos" pass for free, as they were well known to the cod men.  They did pass on the information that two other parties had come through already.

b. They came across Skeletor's newly-formed adventuring party - Skeletor, Walter White, the anti-paladin, and three thugs named Moe, Larry, and Curly.  They easily killed Skeletor, Walter, and anti-paladin, and "hired" the thugs at swordpoint.  Moe took the anti-paladin's plate mail (with sculpted muscles and nipples embossed on the armor)

c. They began exploring the large 30' wide flooded tunnels, and collecting the faces from the statues at the end of each hall.  One of the statues had a shark-tooth necklace - when Moe was coerced to put it on, it began whizzing around and contracting, quickly sawing Moe's head off

d. They found a room with a pair of pedestals, each sporting a pair of hand grips, and an array of tubes, wires, and mirrors between them.  A sign read "Test your Mental Strength".  Pai Mei went up against Curly - Curly's head began to smoke, and he quickly fell to the floor twitching.  Pai Mei felt a surge of mental energy from his victory, and was aware that he could unleash a deadly mental blast now.

e. They took the faces to a hall containing eight identical statues to the ones they had already found, and a ninth statue of a "great founder" holding his palm out, full of dice.  They screwed the faces into the statues, and one of the dice began glowing pink.  It was quickly shoved into someone's backpack.  Yoink!

f. Wandering monsters aplenty - vampire piranha, sharks, a toymaker wizard with a suitcase full of evil sock monkeys, and an adventuring crew called "The Green Hands" on account of their green gloves.  The wizard's bowler hat and suitcase were confiscated.  The Green Hands had a half dozen slaves with them that they used for setting off traps - these were provisionally "rescued".  An amulet with a three-lobed eye was looted from one of the Green Hands.   The last thug, Larry, and Roger the Halfling Guardian were lost in combat.

g. The back passage was taken to the outpost of the hinge-headed.  Stopping to investigate a room on the way, they fought and slew the Lucrephage, the terror of the hinge-headed - a hideous monster that sucked treasure from the party.  Gutboy's glittering armor was peeled of its emeralds and gold filigree, and one of the hinge-headed mind crystals was absorbed, before the beast could be killed.

h. They spoke with Section Chief Burtelix of the hinge-headed outpost and negotiated a round-trip pass through the domain of the Hinge-Headed to Bartertown, Under-Miami, and beyond, in exchange for returning the two surviving mind crystals and slaying the dread Lucrephage.

i. Upon their return to Denethix, the party identified the pink die as a "Stone of Retribution" - upon the death of an ally, they could throw the stone at the corpse and the death would be visited upon the killer instead, and their comrade returned to life.  They also sold the amulet of the three-lobed eye at the Bazaar Incomparable - a shady looking gentlemen observed the transaction and was visibly upset.

j. The former slaves were released to return to their families, or wherever else they came from

Gains:  28 gp, Stone of Retribution, Amulet w/ 3-lobed eye, Necklace of Decapitation, paisley suitcase, bowler hat, the gold dust from the filigree that once adorned Gutboy's armor, 2 suits of plate mail (one with ridiculous embossed nipples and muscles), impractical lacquered trident, two daggers
Kills: Skeletor, Anti-Paladin, Walter White, 3 vampire piranha, 3 dungeon sharks, 4 "Green Hands" adventurers, toymaker wizard, evil sock monkey, the Lucrephage
Losses: Three stooges, Roger the Halfling Guardian


  1. I'm not surprised an anti-paladin would wear such fancypants armor.

  2. Curly's head began to smoke and he fell to the floor twitching. Thats what i call henchman abuse.

  3. let me get this straight. not only has the party has managed to make enemies of patches, Walter white, and Skelitor on the same day, but has managed to get them to team up!