Session recap, 11/8/2011

CAST
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Netal the Elf (2), and his slave Roger the Fighter
Mongo the Fighter (2), and his henchmen Leroy Brown the Cleric and Lorgar the Elf
Gutboy the Cleric (3), his henchman Serlo the Elf, and his dog Rufus

We left the party in the viewing chamber for the Bee Bearded Lady - who was reduced to a skeleton wearing an aluminum hexagonal mesh beard, on the opposite side of a thick wall of glass.

The party headed out and traveled further into the freak show, find a chamber with four doors - one of which appeared to lead into the other half of the Bee Bearded Lady's chamber.  The door was locked, though, so the party investigated the other doors.  A door to the northeast read "Feed the Geek", while a door to the southeast read "Observe the Geek."  The party decided unanimously that feeding the geek would be a bad idea, and opted to observe.  They sent Roger the slave through the door first - he found a room split in two by a wall of bars.  On the opposite side of the bars, a horrible painted man with the tail and claws of a scorpion gnashed his teeth, trying to reach his stinger between the bars.  Roger stayed well away, and was safe from the monster's attack.

The rest of the party entered, and proceeded through another door out into a hallway.  They opened a door at the north end of the hall, and entered an oddly-shaped room with a stack of rusty iron cages along the south wall.  Each cage held a subterranean locust, 3' long.  Mongo surmised they were food for the Geek.

They had Roger open a door to the southeast - briefly, a room with a half dozen monitors was revealed, the monitors showing views of various rooms in the dungeon, some of which the party had just walked through.  Six Painted Men were observing the monitors.  One of them ran at the door, shouting "EMPLOYEES ONLY!" and slammed it shut in Roger's face.

There was a brief argument about whether to kill the Painted Men - Gutboy was afraid that the other Painted Men would kill them in retribution, while Netal and Mongo were irate about being observed by the clowns and wanted them dead.  Gutboy's argument won out, and the party moved further into the freak show.

The next room they entered held the skull of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  Inside the skull was a 5' long tongue, sculpted from solid gold.  To the south of it was a large tapestry, depicting dinosaurs wallowing in a swamp - rather than a sky above the swamp, a stalactite-covered cavern ceiling was woven instead.  There was another tapestry to the west, but apparently they were looking at the back side of it, as it was a featureless muddled gray.

Another argument ensued, about whether the party could successfully smuggle the tongue past the clowns.  They feared the clowns exacting retribution for its theft, and decided to leave it alone for the time being, and scout around for a back way out of the dungeon.  So they sent Roger to investigate behind the curtain - he saw another door to the west, and walls covered with shelves, on which rested eleven withered figures - the upper halves of chimps sewn onto the lower halves of fish.  The party then had Roger check behind the dinosaur tapestry, and found a door heading south.

They decided that heading west was a better bet, and went back to the room with the eleven Feejee Mermaids.  As they reached the center of the room, the mermaids came to life and flopped down onto the ground, advancing on the party with bared fangs.  The party got in a few hits, but went down one by one under the onslaught of the mermaids.  A few were killed, crushed into dried skin and sawdust stuffing, but eventually only Netal and Mongo were left standing.

Netal and Mongo ran out of the room - Mongo moving slowly, letting the slow-moving mermaids stay within sight of him, and Netal running as fast as he could, trying to find a back entrance into the mermaid room so he could rescue his unconscious companions.  Eventually he did, rushing through a hexagonally-shaped room with a stone giant laid out upon a tall table, and bandaged Gutboy's wounds as best he could.  Sadly, he was too late for the rest of the party - they were dead.

Mongo eventually caught up, slamming doors behind as he ran, and apparently losing the pursuing mermaids.  They recovered a few weapons from their slain henchmen, and retreated to the room with the stone giant as the tapestry began to show movement - the mermaids must certainly have been returning from their failed pursuit.  Mongo spiked the door shut, and the two returned to the giant chamber with the carnival midway, hoping to sneak out.

The party walked around the big top, taking the most direct route to the entrance possible, walking past several Painted Men who pointed and laughed at them - but were stopped at the dais by the carnival barker. 

Carnival Barker: Leaving so soon?  After all this trouble we've been to, it would be a shame to miss the show
Netal:  I think we need to be going, our friend's in trouble.
Carnival Barker:  Nothing like the trouble there's going to be if you don't attend the show.  I suggest you enjoy some of the attractions on the midway.  Looks like you've been enjoying them quite a bit already.
Netal:  Do you know a doctor?
Carnival Barker:  Oh, there's Dr. Giggles... but that's going to have to wait until after the show.

Sensing the undercurrent of menace, the pair retrated back around the midway.  They checked out a few of the tents as they went - a shell game didn't interest them, but a shoot-the-skull-with-the-crossbow game attracted Netal's attention.  He paid 10 gp, and fired three shots from the crossbow the Painted Man behind the counter handed him.  All three shots hit, and the Painted Man handed Netal a bloodstained kewpie doll.

Painted Man:  Three shots!  Big winner!
Netal:  Does it have any special powers?
Painted Man:  Yes, it's cute!  Very cute!

The duo gave the "Ring the Bell" game a pass, avoiding the snarling beefcake Painted Man and his big rubber mallet, and passed a door with a sign reading "Emergency Exit", nestled between the tent and the entrance to the freak show.  The two casually slipped through the door, finding themselves in a room with yet another tapestry, this one showing smiling children enjoying a circus.  They ignored the tapestry and followed a corridor west, eventually reaching a bronze portcullis guarded by two Painted Men.  The guards were delighted to see visitors.

Painted Man:  Strangers!  Welcome!  You see show?
Netal:  Yes, we're just going to step out for a bit.
Painted Man:  You come back and see show!

The painted men happily wheeled up the winch and wished the two well, and they headed deeper into the dungeon, dragging the unconscious Gutboy behind them.  They followed twisting corridors and chose random directions at intersection, and eventually ended up at a sign reading "Dr. Giggles - Welcome to Our New Office."  Following the arrow on the sign, they came to another door marked "Receptionist."  They entered within, and found a doctor's waiting room.  There were chairs arranged around the room, with a coffee table holding an assortment of magazines.  A troglodyte in a white nurse's uniform sat behind a desk.

Nurse:  Do you have an appointment? hisss
Mongo:  No, we're walk-ins
Nurse:  Any insurance?  hisss
Mongo:  Uhhh... no.... blue shield?
Nurse:  No blue shield.  hiss... We take Miami Mutual.  hiss.
Mongo:  No, do you take cash?
Nurse:  Always take cash.  hiss.... Better anyways, avoid co-pays. hiss.  Wait here for doctor.

The nurse then hummed tunelessly for a few minutes, and then got up and opened the door behind it, announcing "Patients, Dr. Giggle!"  A painted man in a white doctor's coat entered the room, a surgical mask dangling around his throat.  The doctor spoke in an incredibly well-educated voice.

Dr. Giggles (rushing over to examine Gutboy):  Goodness!  That man needs immediate medical attention!  It's a good thing you brought him here!
Netal:  How much is this going to cost?
Dr. Giggles:  Money? How can you think of money when a man is dying?  How mercenary!  Nurse, help me get him into the O.R.!

The troglodyte grabbed Gutboy's feet while Dr. Giggles lifted Gutboy by his armpits, and they quickly hauled him through a door into the O.R.  The nurse stepped back through and told the two to "wait here, he in good hands now, hisss...."  Realizing that they had just let strange monsters take their bosom comrade, Mongo and Gutboy insisted on seeing the operation.  The nurse agreed, and admitted them to the O.R., advising them to stand in a corner out of the way.  Dr. Giggles stood over Gutboy's unconscious body, scalpel in hand, with two Painted Men in nurse's uniforms assisting him.

And here we halted - you'll have to wait til next session to find out the results of the operation.

Hitler Must Die

I don't have enough stupid in the dungeon yet.

a. Subsurface Circus
b. Miami
c. Dracula

So... here's something for the ninth level.  Near the 9th level entrance, past the cave kraken that's been chewing on all those poor soldiers of the Unyielding Fist, there's a hangar, containing a single Avro Lancaster bomber.  Everything is in perfect condition - all the rubber parts are pliable, the fuel is fresh, etc.  There is also a manila envelope marked TOP SECRET, containing orders for the missing crew - to destroy the Nazi Time Ray before it can be used to modify history.  Location:  Hitler's Bunker.

If the plane is wheeled out of the dungeon and the airstrip outside the 9th level entrance cleared, it can be flown off - where it will instantly pass through a time portal back to 1943, over Berlin, and presumably be shot down.  The Nazis will be unsure of the effects of their Time Ray since the plane only disappeared for a moment, and will send a bunch of SS thugs to capture and interrogate the crew.  From there, the players must fight their way back to the Time Ray and defeat Hitler to return home.  Or whatever else they want to do.  Maybe find Glenn Miller and join the band?  Who knows...

The circus is going over very well - I was wondering if the players would rebel at the sheer ridiculousness of an underground carnival.  They're actually quite enthusiastic, and paranoid about the massive numbers of Painted Men turning on them unexpectedly, so it's working out exactly as I had hoped.  Given that success, it's full steam ahead on my other stupid ideas.

Another Christianity and D&D post

This is another Christianity and D&D post.  There were a bunch last week, and I thought about posting something, didn't because my thoughts were muddled, and then bam! power outage.  So it's coming in a bit late for that discussion.  If you're not interested, no worries, I'll be back to gonzo D&D adventure in the next post - this is a content-based blog after all, non-content bits like this are almost nonexistent, so please forgive me this exception.

Nevertheless, in my recent "my players are evil!" post, I described some of the characters' interesting "developments".  As I've been DM'ing the world, I've been trying to be a purely neutral arbiter, letting the players determine the story and simply presenting a sandbox.  Those of you who've read ASE1 know it's a really bleak environment, but with a spark of hope.  The city of Denethix is ushering in a human renaissance in the midst of sorcerous tyranny.  My basically cynical world-view is that we are all brutal savages, and you don't have to look beyond the mirror to find the most horrifying monsters imaginable - and it is only through our seeking of God that we rise above our animal nature.  The campaign setting is a reflection of this world-view, tempered with humor, as the human situation can be ridiculous in so many ways.

From a PC's point of view, there's not a lot of immediate consequence for bad behavior.  I let things slide, because the players' actions are the same as the populace at large - self-serving and manipulative.  Of course, I don't intend this to be a condemnation of my players - they view the NPC's in the game as pawns on a chessboard, and there's no moral consequence to sacrificing pawns.  So Roger the Slave is the door opener, Chrissie & Janet are fair game if it means leveling up...

But I worry that I'm creating a moral cesspool out of the game.  I do not want to codify bad behavior.  There's no huge moral consequence - none of my players are going to murder anybody, for instance.  It's all make believe, and a really fun Vancian story is emerging.  On the other hand, playing out behaviors like this is, I believe, morally corrosive.  It conditions a person to be a bit more callous (just a bit!), and from there it's a bit easier to be just a bit more callous than that...  So it's a lot of little moral consequences instead of a great big one.

So how do I reconcile Vancian fun with creeping moral corrosion?

I believe that I have failed my players here in not having consequences for bad behavior.  The real world permits evil men to continue in their evil ways, but make-believe-land doesn't have to operate that way.  The villains are villainous only so far as I permit them, and likewise there's no reason I have to create an environment where immoral actions are implicitly encouraged through lack of consequence.  So, a few of my dilemmas and how I plan to address them:

a. The Evil Book.  I introduced a magic book on a lark, rolled some dice, and decided it was an Evil Book.  So I had it trying to tempt Mongo into doing evil things.  It's led to a few laughs, but in the end I'm not interested in actually tempting Mongo.  So I've changed the book slightly so that it is demanding socially unacceptable behaviors - there's no way Mongo is going to be killing his fellow players.  I've also made it more threatening, so there's no mistaking Evil Book for a potential asset.

b. Purchasing Slaves.  There's a whole Society of the Luminous Spark dedicated to violently murdering slave-owners, a la John Brown.  When I put the setting together, I wanted some opportunity for interesting moral dilemmas between law-abiding slavers and cruel, violent abolitionist terrorists.  No non-violent resistance here, only two very nasty groups of people going at it.  When Netal gets out of the dungeon, he's going to find that the Society has taken an interest, and there's going to be consequences for the slaving going on.

As for encouraging good behavior, there would have to be some good behavior to reward first...  this would easier to play out in city adventures, but I'm all about the dungeon, so unless the players are going out of their way I try to get the city bits done as fast as possible.  The dungeon, of course, is not an opportunity for rampant good deeds- it's an opportunity to try to figure out all my death traps and get the gold.  Maybe when the players reach Under-Miami there will be some opportunity for do-goodery.
So that's where I'm at.  I'm fairly sure this post has been rambling and semi-incoherent, but I am trying to work through the moral repercussions of my DM'ing style, and if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it.  It's possibly also useful for the non-Christians in the audience to understand at least one Christian's perspective (and please do not take it as even a correct perspective - I have many failings and I am likely blowing it big time here, theologically).

God bless you all!

Session recap, 10/27/2011

CAST
--------
Netal the Elf (2), and his slave Roger the Fighter
Mongo the Fighter (2), and his henchmen Leroy Brown the Cleric and Lorgar the Elf
Gutboy the Cleric (3), his henchman Serlo the Elf, and his dog Rufus

The morning started off, as it typically does, with Mongo consulting his evil book.  The cartoons within were arranged in a flowchart - the first panel depicted Mongo reading the evil book, with a cartoon that had Mongo killing Netal, Gutboy, Janet, and Chrissie.  Arrows leading off in one direction showed further panels where Mongo killed his friends and neighbors, and was rewarded with piles of gold and a bevy of beautiful naked women.  Arrows leading off in the other direction showed panels where Mongo gave his friends and neighbors big hugs, went to bed, and then was found in the morning chopped into little pieces, with the evil book sitting in a big pool of his blood.

Mongo thought about a bit, and decided he'd split the difference by not hugging Netal or Gutboy.  Hoping that not-hugging was enough to satisfy the evil book, he headed off to buy some replacement plate mail at the Bazaar Incomparable.

After shopping was complete, the party gathered up their henchmen and headed off to the border village of Chelmsfordshire.  Once there, Gutboy checked out the shrine to Nisus - it had been trampled into the dirt by pigs.  Enraged, he sought out the dirt farmers he had brought around to the worship of Nisus, and found them getting drunk at the Pig's Bride.

Gutboy:  "Have you seen the shrine?  It's in horrible condition!  Who was supposed to be watching it?"
Drunks:  "Uhhh.... aren't you the priest?"
Gutboy (remembering he is, in fact, the official priest of Chelmsfordshire):  "I left you in charge!  Get out there and clean up that shrine!  Now!"

Grumbling, the farmers went off to restore the shrine to its former wormy glory.  After they left, a soldier of the Unyielding Fist approached Gutboy.

Soldier:  "Father, can you bless us?  We need all the help we can get in that horrible pit under the mountain!"
Gutboy:  "What's going on?  Have you been inside?"
Soldier:  "We don't go in there anymore!  But things keep coming out to kill us, so we're walling the hole up"
Gutboy:  "Really?  What's coming out?"
Soldier:  "Tentacles, all we see are tentacles, they're dragging us into the darkness."
Gutboy:  "So nobody's going down there?"
Soldier:  "No, we're going to deny the place to any wizards who go poking around.  It's all getting walled up.  But you remember the lights that were shining?  There was one, higher up the mountain, by a collapsed tunnel, and some idiot's digging it up.  Must be related to somebody on the Council, we're ordered not to interfere.  You know how it is."
Gutboy:  "Yes, of course."
Soldier:  "So can we have a blessing?"
Gutboy:  "Yes, tomorrow morning we'll have a village-wide service."

Gutboy decided he was in dire need of funds, and figured passing the hat was an excellent way to raise some much-needed cash.  At the service the next day, he gave a rousing sermon about the necessity of obeying the gods, particularly Nisus, and how she would protect farmers and soldiers alike.  This done, he passed a bucket around, urging people to give - but this only incensed the crowd, who began taunting Gutboy as a worthless money-grubber.  The bucket came back with only a measly 4 gp.

The party decided it was high time to head to Mount Rendon and the dungeon, so they quickly purchased five pigs, and headed into the wilderness.  On the way there, they were surprised by a dozen musclebound doberman-headed men, wearing only loincloths and sandals, and wielding wicked scimitars.  The dog-headed men growled, and demanded that the party empty their bags and give them all their money, and told them that "Canus would hear of it!" if they didn't comply.

Gutboy tried to convince the dog-headed men to join them in an adventure underground and gain great treasure, but the men only laughed, explaining that they'd just take whatever treasure he found when he came back out.  Negotiations quickly broke down, sleep spells were cast, and battle ensued - the party came out victorious, and kept one of the dog-headed-men alive, slitting the throats of the other sleepers.

The party headed into the dungeon, and went straight to the morlock's lair.  Mongo argued for slaughtering the morlocks and taking their stuff, but Gutboy was opposed, finding them to be valuable allies.  Inertia won the day, and the party decided to just hand the pigs and the dog-headed-man over to the morlocks as a gesture of goodwill.

Knocking on the door to the lair, a lone morlock answered, and his jaw dropped in delight as he surveyed the pigs and dog-man.  "Pigs!  And people!  Delicious!" he exclaimed, taking a quick bite out of the whimpering humanoid.  He quickly called for help, and a half dozen more morlocks appeared to help drag the meaty bounty into their lair.  There were squeals and whimpers of pain as the morlocks nibbled at their prizes while dragging them into the darkness.

The party decided to see what the morlocks were up to, and followed them inside the lair - the fiends were too excited to notice the party was behind them.  They came into a large chamber, with a massive demonic idol in the corner, with several rotting hearts impaled on its forehead-horn, and holding a great gold bowl in its lap.  Stacked next to a stew-pot were several human-looking arms and legs.

As the party entered, Chief Gribnel, leader of the morlocks, emerged from a room to the south.  He had a silver circlet on his forehead, and an ivory brooch pinned through his bare chest, and wore two keys on a leather thong tied around his neck.  He saw the many pigs, the dog-faced-man, and the party, and his face broke out in a wide smile.

Gribnel:  "Mongos bring much food!  We feast!  Mongos must stay and eat with us!"
Gutboy:  "Could we stay overnight?  We could use some rest"
Gribnel:  "Yes!  I give you one of my women tonight!  You take her, she the ugliest, I don't miss her!"
Gutboy:  "So what are those arms?"
Gribnel:  "They make sign, how you say?  Eeeee's?"
Mongo:  "Excellent Elven Edventurers?"
Gribnel:  "Yes.  No problem?"
Gutboy:  "No, no problem!"

Gribnel walked over to the dog-faced man.  "You want piece of him?  He looks delicious!"  The party mumbled a bit and said they'd prefer the pigs, and the chief merely shrugged as he pulled out a knife and decapitated the whining dog-man.  "More for me!"

The party had an excellent meal of boiled pork, and bedded down among the moldy rags the morlocks used for sleeping.  Gutboy made use of his complimentary morlock woman as a pillow, but declined to take things any farther.  When they awoke, the cook fires had burned low, and the elves in the felt their minds refreshed and ready to re-learn their sleep spells.

They bid the morlocks farewell, and headed to the stairs they had discovered during the last foray into the dungeon, leading down to the second level.  They returned to the room where the gray slime had attacked and destroyed Mongo's armor, and found a humanoid poking around in the puddle in the center of the room.  The creature had rainbow-colored matted hair, and was dressed in a motley of dyed skins.  Gutboy shouted "Hello!", and the thing turned - its skin was ghost-white, and its mouth had massive red lips and was filled with pointed fangs.  Clearly, they had stumbled upon one of the Painted Men the morlocks had warned them about.

Painted Man:  "Strangers!  Customers!  You must come with me!  Come!"
Gutboy:  "Come where?"
Painted Man:  "So exciting!  Exciting!  So long since new people come!  You must come to our circus!"
All:  "Wha????"


The party argued a bit among themselves, and decided to chance following this freakish clown-monster and see what it was talking about.  The monster led them to a room with a large tapestry, with the words "Anomalous Subsurface Cirus Ahead!  Family Fun for All Ages!" embroidered onto it.  Large arrows on the tapestry pointed towards a slit in its middle, and in front of the tapestry stood a wooden lectern.  The lectern had no visible shelves in its solid square body, so the party followed the clown through the slit.

Beyond the tapestry was a room with a second Painted Man.  This clown was a sleep, til the first kicked him awake.  He looked surprised to see the party, and began jumping up and down excitedly.  "Ticket!  Ticket!" he shouted, as the first clown ran past and out of the room shouting "Visitors!  Customers!"  Gutboy explained they had no tickets, and the clown switched to shouting "Gold!  One gold!"

The party dutifully handed over 1 gp per member, and walked past the ticket-taker into an enormous room, nearly 200' across.  Occuping most of the room was a geodesic dome made of multi-colored acrylic triangles.  Surrounding the dome were booths with various midway games and concession stands, and nearby was a stone dais, atop which stood a "normal" human.  The man wore a straw boater's hat, a red tailcoat, and a pinstripe suit made from dyed face-skins, and carried a cane in one hand.  The man approached the party, and began to talk rapidly.

Carnival barker:  "What amazing wisdom you've shown in choosing to visit the greatest circus under the ground!  Step right up for the amazing acts..."
Gutboy:  "Is there cotton candy ?!?"
Barker:  "Why yes, there is, at the concession stand..."
Gutboy:  "Where? Where?"
Barker:  "Just on the other side of the dome, right over there!  Visit all the exciting games of the midway, and don't forget the show, starting in only ONE HOUR!  See the Amazing Bundini Twins DEFY GRAVITY!  Watch the lion wrestlers tame the savage beasts with their BARE HANDS!"
Gutboy:  "To the concession stand!"

In the background, dozens of Painted Men hurried about, opening the tents and stands along the midway and rushing into and out of the great geodesic dome.  The party quickly made their way to the promised concession stand, where they found a painted man just finishing the set-up of his booth.

Gutboy:  "What have you got?"
Painted Man:  "Fire beetle glands!  On stick!"  (holding out a skewer of freshly-fried still-glowing glands)
Gutboy:  "I need cotton candy!"

The Painted Man handed Gutboy a stick covered with tightly-wound gray strands of what might be some sort of subterranean candy.  He took a small strand and tasted it, finding that it stuck to his fingers and lips tightly - in fact, he could no longer open his mouth at all.

Gutboy:  "Mmmmph!"
Painted Man:  "Sticky! Yes!  From spiders!"

Gutboy borrowed a knife from his fellows to cut away the spider-silk that masqueraded as delicious cotton candy, badly slicing his lips up in the process.  The painted man offered up other goodies - "Baked people feet!  Bucket o' entrails!" - but there were no takers.  They bid farewall to the greasy, grotesque foods of the stand and picked another tent at random.

Inside this second tent they found an unattended fortune-telling machine.  The machine was a wooden box, on top of which sat the carved and painted upper torso of gypsy woman.  The box had a coin slot, and small plaque reading "10 gp".  Netal ordered his slave Roger to deposit 10 gp, and Roger dutifully obeyed.  A mechanical voice sounded from within the box:  "Ask your question"

Netal quickly asked, "Are the clowns going to try to kill us?".  The mechanical voice replied "Probably eventually, but in the meantime, enjoy the show."  As it finished its answer, the "10 gp" plaque withdrew and was replaced with a "100 gp" plaque.  The party made mental note of this divination machine, and vowed to leave before the show finished.

As there was still time to kill before the circus began, they picked a door at random, and found it bore a sign reading "The Amazing Subsurface Freak Show."  They had Roger open the door - the room beyond was empty, with nothing but empty shelves and two more doors.  One door had "Bee Bearded Lady" written upon it, and the other was marked "More Exhibits This Way!"

The party decided to view the Bee Bearded Lady, and had Roger once again open the door.  Behind the door was an irregularly shaped room, divided in the middle by a wall of thick glass.  On the other side of the glass, the party saw another door, and a skeleton sprawled on the ground.  The skeleton had a "beard" of aluminum hexagon-shaped mesh loosely hanging from its skull.

And here we ran out of time - further exploration of the Subsurface Freak Show will have to wait til the next session.

My players are turning eeeevil

So my players are turning eeeeeeevil.  Mongo contemplates murdering his neighbors for the prospect of gold sandwiches and a higher level (me: "How could you kill Chrissie & Janet?" Mongo's player: "I hated that show!"), and Netal's player finds that purchasing slaves is a lot easier than making reaction rolls and hiring henchmen the old-fashioned way.

Of course this stuff is going to bite them on the ass.  That's slave #2 owned by Netal, so he's bound to attract the attention of the Society of the Luminous Spark.  I'll start laying that groundwork in this Thursday's session.

Mongo's player is upping the ante with the book after my lecture on character lifespans - given that Mongo could die on any given expedition, he wants to go "all in" on the book.  It's about time to put a bit more threat into the evil book, so far it's been comic relief.  Well, it will probably continue to be comic relief, but with more nasty consequences.

I've written (in crappy draft form admittedly) a large chunk of level 2 now, so it should wrap up soon.  Which is good - the players are going to hit third level very soon, which means they'll be heading deeper.  Probably without having explored too much of the 2nd level.  That's fine, the essence of the megadungeon is its scale, you're not supposed to go to every single room on every single level.  Not that my OCD players don't give their best effort...

Session recap, 10/13/2011

CAST
--------
Netal the Elf (2), and his slave Roger the Fighter
Mongo the Fighter (2), and his henchmen Leroy Brown the Cleric and Lorgar the Elf

Mongo awoke from a fine night's sleep, and decided to consult his decidedly evil book, because what harm could come of that?  He flipped it open, and viewed the comics within - they depicted Mongo cutting the heads off his neighbors Chrissie and Janet, and mounting them on spikes.  The stick figure Mongo was rewarded with a pair of sandwiches.  Disappointed, Mongo flipped the page - and it was revealed that the sandwiches were made of solid gold, probably worth 2,000 gp combined.  Mongo began hatching a murderous plan, involving a picnic basket, and resolved he should carry his book around everywhere with him, so he could always get sound advice on what to do next.

The day continued, as it often does, with a search for new henchmen.  Netal, ever pragmatic, decided purchasing a henchman was much more efficient than an extended interview process, and so headed to the Street of Tormented Flesh.  He accosted a green-masked slaver in the street:

Netal: "I'm looking to buy a slave"
Slaver: "Of course you are!  A pleasure slave, perhaps?"
Netal:  "I need someone who can open doors."
Slaver:  "Right... you're going to need to be more specific.  Young, old, male, female?"
Netal:  "Someone young.   Male."
Slaver:  "Ahh! I was right!  A pleasure slave!"
Netal:  "No, someone who's strong, and likes adventure."
Slaver:  "Now I'm not following you"
Netal:  "How about one of those pit fighters?"
Slaver:  "That I can do!  What rank are you looking for?  I have many newly trained, unranked fighters, or perhaps a second-tier fighter?"
Netal:  "How much?"
Slaver:  "My first ranks are only 150 gp.  1000 gp will get you a second rank... and I see by the look on your face I needn't go any further."
Netal:  "Let's take a look at your first ranks"

The slaver led Netal to a basement "stable", with a half-dozen barred cells.  Most of the pit fighters within snarled nastily at Netal, shouting obscenities until they were beaten into quietude.  One lad, however, seemed somewhat chipper.

Slave:  "Oh, hello there!  I'm quite looking forward to actually getting out of this cell and doing something.  Didn't think it would be quite so nasty when I sold myself, but the family certainly needed the money!"
Netal:  "What's his name?"
Slaver:  "Your choice.  We beat the names out of them during training.  He doesn't have any rank in the pits yet, so you get to choose"
Netal:  (dead silence for quite some time)
Slaver:  "Sir?  Are you feeling all right?"
Netal:  "I'm trying to think of a name.  Roger."
Slaver:  "An excellent choice.  That'll be 150 gp."

A quick trip to the Bazaar Incomparable was taken, and Roger was equipped with a two-handed sword and some armor.

Mongo also keenly felt the loss of Jimgar, and decided to hire a replacement elf.  He wandered the bars of the Street of the Alien, and eventually came across a goateed young elf who expressed an interest in the adventuring life.

Mongo:  "Anybody want adventure?"
Lorgar (stroking his goatee):  "Good sir!  Does this involve crawling into deep holes far underground?"
Mongo:  "Yes!  Lots of deep holes!"
Lorgar:  "That's absolutely fantastic!  I've been looking for just such an opportunity to explore dangerous caves for little to no pay!"
Mongo:  "You're hired!  Do you know spells?"
Lorgar:  "Of course!  I am a master of the arcane energies that are more commonly called 'magic missiles'"
Mongo:  "Great!  What's your name?"
Lorgar:  "I am Lorgar"
Mongo:  "What's with the gar?  And why doesn't Netal's name end with gar?"
Lorgar:  "That is odd.  Netal, you say?  Strange name.  His parents must not have liked him."

More shopping commended, and Lorgar was equipped with sword and armor, and Mongo found a picnic basket salesman.  The hiring and purchasing completed, Netal, Mongo, and their retinue headed into the wilderness towards Mt. Rendon and the dungeon.

As they climbed the slopes of Mt. Rendon, they came around an outcropping of rock and were dismayed to find a clearing, with a gigantic floating stone head in it, 20' tall.  In front of  the stone head stood a robed man with a beard and moustache drawn in ink upon his hairless face.  He was directing a group of nearly a dozen men in red diapers, armed with rifles.  The robed man, clearly a wizard, shouted "Who is this who dares interrupt me?"

Netal and Mongo responded by running away as fast as they could, their crew bravely running behind in abject panic.  The wizard and his henchmen did not pursue - and after an hour or so the stone head was seen in the sky, flying away from the mountain.  The party cautiously made their way up to the dungeon, taking a different route, and avoided any further danger.

Once in the dungeon, Mongo and Netal examined their map of level 1, and began systematically exploring the few unmapped areas.  They noticed the letters "EEE" painted on the walls in a few spots.  Mongo asked the henchmen if they had any idea what that meant, and Lorgar piped up - it stood for "Excellent Elven Edventurers," an adventuring company recently put together by an elf named Slezgar.  Mongo recognized the name - it was one of Gutboy's former henchmen, who had quit a few months ago.

During this anal-retentive mapping, they ran into some strange sponge-bodied multilegged horned monsters, that gored Leroy and Mongo.  Leroy prayed for healing, and his wounds miraculously closed up.  The party then holed up in a room overnight, spiking the door shut, so that Leroy could meditate and regain his ability to access divine powers.  The night was frightful, with creatures scratching at the doors all night, and eventually a party of morlocks forced their way in - but they recognized Mongo.

Mongo:  "What you doing here?"
Morlocks:  "Stuff"
Mongo:  "Stuff?  Huh.  Can I help?"
Morlocks:  "No, we got it"
Mongo: "Can I visit your home some time?"
Morlocks:  "No, no, we're busy. Very busy."
Mongo:  "You guys are always busy.  What are you doing?"
Morlocks:  "Stuff."
Mongo:  "Do you know about the EEE sign?"
Morlocks:  "Oh yeah, other not-mongos.  They make sign."
Mongo:  "Did you eat them?"
Morlocks:  "Maybe... maybe not..."
Mongo:  "Because it's OK if you did"
Morlocks:  "Well we go now.  Take yummy people with us?"
Mongo:  "No!  Maybe later.  Pigs."
Morlocks:  "OK, bye"

This exchange over, the party moved to a different room, and barricaded themselves within.  The scratchings at the door continued, along with occasional voices - and eventually the door was beaten down once again by the morlocks.

Morlocks:  "You here too?"
Mongo:  "Yes, we rest here"
Morlocks:  "OK, bye.  Leave mark or something, we not bother you."

The party did eventually make it through the night, with Leroy having regained his divinely-inspired healing ability.  He immediately used it on Mongo, and the party explored some new territory in the southwest corner of the dungeon.  Beyond a door they found a room that opened onto an abyss, the bottom far below in the darkness.  A bridge of strange gray shell-strips, tied by leather to stainless steel wire, extended over the abyss.  The party carefully made their way to the other side, and there was another tunnel beyond, which led to a long flight of stairs leading deeper into the dungeon.

At the bottom of the stairs they entered a 50'x50' room, with eight exits.  The room was full of filth, and covered with foot prints.  Mongo consulted his book of profound evil, and the pictures within revealed a stick figure Mongo mounting the heads of Chrissie, Janet, Jack, the Ropers, Leroy, and Lorgar around the room.  The stick figure Mongo was rewarded with a sense of a job well done, apparently, as he proudly surveyed the carnage - this wasn't nearly enough to tempt Mongo into mass murder, however.

Netal randomly chose the southwest corridor, and the party entered a damp room, with a leak in the ceiling dripping filthy water into a dirty puddle on the floor.  There was a door on the opposite side of the room.  Mongo made his way around the puddle, but as he did so a horrible thing of gray slime swept forth from the puddle, slapping at Mongo's armored chest with a pseudopod.

The party surrounded the creature, hacking away with swords, and eventually cut it to ribbons - but Mongo's armor was bubbling and dissolving away.  The creature's pseudopod had left an acidic slime that was rapidly destroying the plate.  Mongo stripped it off as fast as he could.  Feeling vulnerable, Mongo and Netal decided to evacuate the dungeon and re-equip.

New OSR stuff!

Got a bunch of new OSR stuff.  I ordered the Tome of Horrors months ago, but the rest was ordered this week.  Note the original cover art on Spire of Iron & Crystal.