Session recap, 7/13/2011

Gutboy Barrellhouse the Cleric (3), his dog Rufus, and his henchman Serlo the Elf
Mongo the Fighter (2), and his henchmen Leroy Brown the Cleric and Jimgar the Elf

Mongo and Gutboy awoke after spending the night at Mongo's two-bedroom apartment.  The two decided that they should become roomies, and find a cheaper apartment.  The upscale digs on the Street of Worthy Servitude were nice, but a bit too pricey for two down-on-their-luck adventurers.

The two tracked down their real-estate agent and headed to the Street of Students.  "Well, it's not as nice as the Street of Worthy Servitude.  The students are rowdy, and some of them are even abolitionists!"  Mongo and Gutboy had heard enough.  "Rowdy? Parties?  Let's check it out!"

Walking down to the Street of Students, they found that the street was teeming with shabbily dressed young radicals.  The young men had tattered blazers, many without ascots, and the young ladies' bustles barely extended past their behinds - the froghemoth bone ribs were clearly used and worn out.  Upon seeing topless feminist protesters decrying the confinement of their mammary glands by the male hegemony, the pair decided they had found the perfect neighborhood.

Their agent took them to a three-bedroom apartment, where they met their prospective landlord, Mr. Roper.  The apartment was filled with odors of stale beer, herb, and other unidentifiable substances.  The walls were spattered with gleaming metallic stains.

Gutboy: "What's that metal stuff on the wall?"
Roper:  "A bunch of haf-heads used to live here before I threw them out."
Gutboy:  "Haf-heads?"
Roper:  "Hafnium addicts."
Gutboy:  "What's hafnium?"
Roper:  "It's a metal.  The haf-heads suck on it.  Cheaper than the good lanthanides."
Gutboy:  "They chew on it?"
Roper:  "No, they dip it in a jelly and suck on it.  Their mouths fill up with sparks and they spit that metal all over the place.  Lousy haf-heads, they never pay their rent.  You guys don't use drugs, do you?"
Gutboy:  "No, of course not!"
Roper:  "Good, good."
Mongo:  "We need to have a party here"
Roper:  "Whoa!  What's that?  You're not thinking of having girls up, are you?"
Gutboy:  "Why not?"
Roper:  "You can't have girls!  It's not proper!  Unless you're gay.  Are you gay?  If you were gay, that would be OK."
Gutboy:  "No, we're not..."
Roper:  "Didn't think so.  I've got my suspicions about the guy downstairs too.  I think he just wants to live with those two women."
Gutboy:  "Do you want us to deal with him?"
Roper:  "Like how?"
Gutboy:  "We can kill him for you!"
Roper:  "No! Why would I want that?  I want rent, not murder!"
Gutboy:  "Where does he live?"
Roper:  "Never mind!  What kind of students are you, anyhow?"
Mongo (paging through evil book):  "Look, reading book!  Me student!"
Roper:  "You've convinced me with your scholarly demeanor.  How about you?"
Gutboy:  "I'm a priest.  You've heard of Nisus?"
Roper:  "No, can't say that I have.  That a little god?"
Gutboy:  "Yes!  Surely, you worship a god?"
Roper:  "Well, yeah, I worship all of them.  I hold a special place for Daog, though.  He's the god of pits, and when I was a wee lad, we lived in a pit.  Those were the days..."
Mongo:  "No dogs though right?  Put dog in stables!"
Gutboy:  "Wait a minute!  I need to have my dog!"
Roper:  "Well, since you're a priest... I'll let you keep the dog"

Money exchanged hands, the lease was signed, and Mongo and Gutboy were now roommates.  The two began hauling the futons and overstuffed wingback chair to the Street of Students, but on the way they encountered their old landlord.  He began noisily demanding the rent for the full term of the lease, but a few diplomatic words from Mongo ("Me not pay you ever. You get nothing") easily convinced the bigoted demi-human hater to release them from their obligations.

The new apartment was settled, there was some tidying-up of the worship-booth of Nisus, and the question of what to do next arose.  After a brief discussion, the duo decided to revisit Frondgar the Elven Sage, and see if he could use his mystical arts to determine the powers of Mongo's evil book.

Frondgar bid them enter his home, and had Mongo lay the book out on a table.  Flipping through the pages of the book, Mongo saw that where once there were letters, there were now crudely drawn pictures illustrating a man performing various vile deeds - disemboweling, murder, beheadings, wearing intestines like feather boas, cannibalism, and other gruesome acts.

Mongo handed Frondgar the 100 gp fee, and the sage placed his hands upon the book and entered a state of trance.  After a few moments, the elf began shaking violently, and his nose began bleeding profusely.  His eyes shot open wide, and the elf jumped back from the evil tome.

Frondgar: I have sent my mind through the interstices between dimensions to trace back the source of this book's vile energies.  I have stumbled upon the edges of the hell-dimensions, but have managed to determine one thing about this book - it it is here to fulfill Mongo's desires.
Gutboy:  You mean the identify spell?
Frondgar: You seek to reduce the efforts of probing beyond the veil and into the secret realms athwart reality those few mere words?
Gutboy:  But it was the identify spell, right?
Frondgar: You are taking the mystery out of it.

Mongo began paging through the book.  He saw pictures of a stick figure, clearly meant to represent Mongo, walking up to a sleeping priest and cutting his head off.  Other pages showed Mongo lining the walls of his new apartment with skulls, and of Mongo sitting upon a thrown of skulls, surrounded by corpses.

Gutboy:  Did you find out anything else?  Is it commanding Mongo to do things?
Frondgar:  I have told you what I have seen.  It fulfills desires!

Mongo paged through a bit more - he saw a picture of himself and Gutboy chewing on hafnium, with an arrow pointing to a second picture that showed Mongo in a splendid reclining chair surrounded by adoring women.  Further pages showed Mongo performing various rituals, meeting with a jet black stick-figure, and kneeling before a three-lobed eye.

Gutboy:  Wait, the book wants us to drugs?  Maybe we should get rid of this book
Mongo:  No!  I mean, maybe there something simpler?  Start small?

Turning more pages, Mongo came across a picture of him shoving a child into a mud puddle, and the next picture showed Mongo receiving a sandwich.

Mongo (wondering aloud):  Is child rich?  Poor?  What kind of sandwich?
Gutboy:  This book is eivl
Mongo:  Me save book for later

The pair decided to put off the matter of the evil picture-book til later, and head off for adventure.  They gathered up their henchmen and headed west towards Chelmsfordshire.

And here our session ended.  Next game night is Wed, July 27th.

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